71 Days Post Resolve

I don't have a lot of time to write a lot today but I thought I should let you know what's been going on with the guy I met....Things were a little rocky once we met, a lot of mixed emotions getting back into the dating world....I just felt like if anyone was going to understand what I've been through it would be him....So I really felt like I needed him to know....we sat down and I told him everything...and guess what!? He said it was ok! Can you believe it?! I have never felt so much relief on my whole life....I've still been my own worst enemy when it comes to just about everything but he's been an amazing comfort and just having the support of some one who thinks I'm beautiful inside and out makes all the difference. Things still aren't perfect but it gives me hope....Just wanted to let you all know there are decent human beings left in the world and I'm so lucky to have found one...

64 Days Post Resolve

So I just wanted to apologize for my last post...I was really upset that day....So I went to the Dr. to get the last of my warts removed thinking things were going great, they'd gotten so much better....blah blah blah....So I left work early to make it to my appointment and had a to run 2 errands before hand...So I had to go pick up this check and when i got to the place the lady couldn't find it...so I was like, I'll come back later I'm going to be late otherwise....so I decided I was going to go in to get my oil changed and drop my car off while I was at my appointment because it was right across the street. So there was a lot of traffic so I had to walk down to the crosswalk where I waited for probably three light cycles before the stupid crosswalk sign turned green. Then I finally got to the mulitcare place and realized my OB GYN's office moved and I didn't know where it was.....so feeling frazzled I finally found it, which by now I wasw 15 minutes late.....So I check in and sit and wait.....after about an hour wait and probably about 5-7 pregnant women later I finally got called......I was starting to think I was going to have to get knocked up to get some service.....So I get in the room and wait for ANOTHER HOUR......I was about the get dressed and leave, I was pissed. So finally my dr. comes in and she barely remembered me....I was like great, it was like my first visit all over again....So I explained that I still had the warts, etc. I also asked about getting retested for HSV. She said that normally they don't retest once you are positive you are positive, but she said since I asked they would look into it.....she didn't sound very positive or enthusiatic about helping me....So she takes a look and says she didn't like the way things looked and wanted to biopsy the skin down there again.....which means another painful poke in the vagina...I was like, please no, it hurts......she said the other option was surgery to cauterize the area, they would have to put me out cuz it would be a bunch of needle pokes in the vagina otherwise. I was pretty discouraged. I finally thought things were getting better.....but she treated the warts and told me to come back in a week or two.....And man did the treatment hurt this time.....well it's been a week and it looks the same down there. I'd rather just op for the surgery and get it over with..... so that's why I was so upset, just when you think you're getting close, you're not......so that was the bad news of last week.....the good news is I met a great guy! And I told him the truth, he knows everything and he is ok with it! can you believe that? good guys do exsist! I was so nervous to tell him but he is different, I just had a knot in my stomach and had to get it out in the open, I knew if anyone would understand it would be him. It turns out his ex has the same type HSV I have and he never got it....whew....what a relief. The next day I felt amazing, like this huge weight had been lifted....he has been exactly what I've needed....support and all, and we even had sex.....!!!! I finally feel like I have a normally life again....granted I still have been having tingling in my legs, but if I can get rid of these warts then I'll be home free......I still have this fear that it won't work out and I'll go back to being alone again, which is possible, but it gives me hope that i can live a normal life...so all of you who are struggling with being alone.....it can happen, and I was the biggest skeptic of all. Not to mention spontaneous told me two more people tested negative.....things are starting to look up and I just thank God for everything He has done in my life recently.....He is the reason I get up in the morning and keeps me going through the day...Hang in there everyone, it does get easier

57 Days Post Resolve

Mother fucker!!!!!! I just typed a whole novel and it just erased it! UGH!!!! yesterday sucked and when I have the energy to type all that again, I'll tell you why.

56 Days Post Resolve

Well, not much new to report. I've been doing good, been really tired lately but I ran out of vitamins for a time so I think I'm just trying to get my energy back after starting them again...haven't had an outbreak. The warts have gotten a lot better with the compound W and am getting the last of them removed in about 2 hours from my OB/GYN...I think I'll ask her about different tests for HSV....like the western blot and about getting my numbers from my other blood work...I never told her about resolve, I think she would be very skeptical, she is the type that says, yep, it's not curable, take your vitamins....the end.....so I will just check out the tests myself and see what they say...I probably won't do the western blot till my 90 days is up in september, but I'd like to know what my numbers are....I've been having quite a bit of tingling in the back of my legs...I used to have pain there but now it's just tingling so I don't really know what that means....hopefully she will be able to remove most of the warts I have left and with my vitamins and compound W I can be rid of these for good, if more don't appear that is....I definately need to be getting more sleep...I recently moved and haven't felt really rested. the warts were getting a lot better and one day after feeling really tired I noticed they had gotten a little bigger. I just don't want to be fighting this forever.... on a more positive note, I met a GUY!!! he is great and I can see him being a keeper...he doesn't know about my condition but we are taking things slow. I just have a really good feeling about him. So keep us in your prayers that this is the one who will love me for me...my condition has improved greatly and although I haven't been going to the gym and gained back the 5 pounds I lost, that I will continue to try and be healthy and feel good about me for me....hope everyone is doing well...

49 Days Post Resolve

Well I haven't written in awhile so I thought I would just drop in and say that I hope everyone is doing well....As for me... I still have some warts, they've gotten considerably better though. I'm still feeling good, keeping up on my vitamins and resting when I need to...I went Kayaking on saturday and it was super fun. Really enjoying the summer and getting out and doing the things I want to do... I e-mailed resolve to ask them about doing the booster since I still had warts and some itching and tingling. I'm sure it's from the warts, or the compound W. That tends to make them itch more. I think it's more of a healing itch than new warts developing itch...It's very mild regardless. Resolve told me I didn't need to take the booster, they said at this point I just need to apply step 3 to the warts and that's it..I don't have the $40 for the booster anyway, so I'm hoping they are right...I'm still doing good though and actually my sex drive has really kicked up...it's been about 9 months since I've had sex and I've really been feeling it this week...man, vibrators just aren't like the real thing....but actually having a sex drive is a huge step from where I was never seeing myself having sex again...I just feel better in general about my health and happiness....even if I'm not cured if I can live symptom free I'll be ok with that....I recently moved and have really started a new chapter in my life...so I hope everyone is doing just as well...be positive and stay cool...we're having a heat wave here!

36 Days Post Resolve

Well it's day 36 and other then the fact that I ran out of vitamins and am totally exhausted, I'm doing good...I went in for my follow up pap on friday and the Dr. said my cervix looked good, she did not see any white spots and there was only one red spot that she figured was from the biopsy....so that's good news, at least one strand is clearing...I don't have much itching down there anymore, on occasion, but I do have some warts, still using the compound W....I think I've realized that I'm just not attractive for guys or something...they don't want to date me, they just want to have sex with me....I haven't felt very attractive and although I've lost 7 pounds recently and still working on losing more, I just don't feel like guys like me...oh well. I moved this weekend, cut my hair, so I feel like I'm turing over a new leaf....hey did I mention about that guy who basically said I was fat? well he texts me out of the blue and asks if I wanted to have sex with him...like wtf? why do you want to have sex with me, you're not even attracted to me? what a typical guy response.....he was like do you want to have sex or not, and I was like no! not because of the viruses but by moral standard he's a jack ass and I don't have time for that, even if I haven't had sex in 8 1/2 months.....I'd rather be celebate then get addicted, hurt and left when he moves out of the state.... guys are douches........anyway, I feel empowered that I said no.....I'm standing my ground....and although I may end up a crotchedy cat lady...at least I didn't let guys take advantage of me anymore...one day I'll be in control of my health and be able to have realtionships again......until then, I've been having this pain in my left breast, I wouldn't say there is a lump but there is some breast tissue directly related to the pain...my dr. is keeping an eye on it...pray it's not cancer...I'm only 24, that's the last thing I need right now

31 Days Post Resolve

Well it's officially been a month since I ended the detox, so about 4 weeks. Surprisingly enough I have no symptoms. I still have a few warts but the compound W is slowly but surely taking care of them. I don't have any tingling or itching down there today. I do have a cold. I had a really stressful week at work last week and now I've got it bad. It concerns me a little because I got colds frequently because my immune system was lowered before I did the detox. I ran out a vitamins and can't get more till the beginning of the month. I'm hoping this doesn't mess things up..I have my pap today. Not seeing my OB/GYN cuz she is on vacaton and I'm about a month overdue for my pap so I want to get that done so my OB/GYN can see the results. I'll probably go in on the 5th to have her check things out....if I continue to use the compound W, the warts may all be gone by then. So that's encouraging. My biggest fear right now is that I've been having some pain in my left breast. I have one particular spot that I know it's coming from. I don't know if it's really a lump there cuz I've always had lumpier breast tissue but I don't have it on the other side, even though I get pain there less frequently. I few years ago I had some major pain the same breast and it was just irritated lymph glands. Breast cancer runs in my family, but I'm not supposed to start getting mamograms for another 3 years. So just pray it's nothing serious. It didnt' really start bothering me until I started the detox, now it's been off and on for a while. It's been most consistent in the last few days but I think it might be because I should start my period next week. Not sure, will all the stress and everything and lowered immune system. I'm fearful I have cancer too. A friend of mine just recently had a double mastectomy. If I found out I had cancer, I would not resort to a mastectomy. I'm only 24, I want to have a family someday.....so keep me in your prayers that everything goes well at the Dr. today....otherwise things are going well. Moving this weekend and apart from the cold, I'm moving forward.