23 Days Post Resolve

Well, I've been super depressed as you all know, feeling worthless and unlovable...I'm still having itching and tingling down there. I still have the warts and I know those cause itching, but this detox is supposed to get rid of that too...the compound W is working slowly but surely, but I'm going in for my follow up pap smear today and I'll have her remove the rest of them then....Trying not to get more is the hard part. I don't know how to keep my immune system up. I take vitamins everyday...I desperately need to get more sleep though. .I'm exhausted and with what happened with that jack ass last night I'm beat.....what sucks even more was that he really wasn't a jerk about it at all...he basically very politely told me that I lied about the way I looked, which I guess I just know how to take good pictures of myself cuz I don't look fat in them, but I guess I am...regardless of how me said it, it still hurt just the same. It wouldn't have been so bad but my weight has been the biggest issue with me lately and I really didn't need some guy, who I thought liked me for me, to point it out and make me feel even worse. Especially cuz I know he likes sex and that's something I couldn't give him if I wanted to right now...I really need some support from a guy, not necessarily a boyfriend, just a guy who can hold me and be honest and help me understand how guys will handle this. I'm still praying resolve works...I just want the warts to be gone, I can at least still have a normal sex life as long as I don't have something contagious down there constantly...but I have been working out regularly and now that I've been so stressed I've been working out harder...I have a new, no carbs diet plan as well as a weekly workout routine. I'm going to kick butt and when I'm done I'm going to be sexy as hell and all them dumb asses will eat their words cuz they're not getting any from me......I'm thankful I've been cursed with these viruses cuz they taught me a valuable lesson. A good friend of mine made a valid statement, she said being fat has helped me wein out the jerks, which is true. I'm not going to be the same size forever, especially when I have kids and I need some one to encourage me to be healthy but love me whether I'm 140lb or 180lbs......I'm working on it, slowly but surely. I'm going to go for a walk, work up a sweat before my dr.'s appointment. wish me luck