Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Day 12

MISERABLE MISERABLE MISERABLE MISERABLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what happened all of a sudden but either day 12 just kicked my butt or I have the swine flu. My whole body hurts, top to body, my tonsils are swolen almost like the minerals are irritating them. My boobs hurt, my back hurts, I can't get comfortable.....clothes hurt to touch my skin and I've starting breaking out on my back now.... I can't miss work, I hope I'm feeling better by tomorrow cuz everything hurts, I swear I'm dying......but i'm going to continue to drink a lot of water and get lots of sleep...oh did I mention I have the chills? I can't get warm at all, only for a split second.....if I wasn't on this detox I swear that I had swine flu......I read up on some other blogs and most people didn't have bad symptoms till step 2 and 3, well I hope this is a good sign that I feel miserable now, maybe it won't be so bad later. Even my wrist hurts to type.....I need a massage badly!!!!!!! uuuugggggghhhhhhh...=( *tear* ok well I'm going to try and get comfortable. Pray this is working, pray it's working now cuz I can't do this for another 36 days and I'm supposed to sing tomorrow, saturday and sunday and my throat feels like crap......grrrr....well, there goes day 12 and it SUCKED!!!!!!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Day 11

Well today was day 1 of phase 3 of step 1.....did you get all that? lol...so I upped my dose to 10ml and I saw some changes...First off I started feeling a little bit nautious, not much but enough to not feel great...Also I have these random bumps on my right arm from my elbow up, not a ton, maybe 7 or so. They aren't really pimples just like little blisters almost, they don't hurt or anything, it's just kind of odd. I have gotten more pimples though, mainly in areas where I shave like my arm pits and bikini line...Also, all of a sudden today I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack and got extremely irritable. I'm not close to having my period so I don't think it was that. I did start my birth control again so maybe it was just the hormones, but none the less it was strange. Also, last but not least, can you say "Dragon Breath"? The minerals are like embedding in my taste buds cuz I can tell my breath does not smell good, even brushing my teeth, it's just gross. I sure hope it's just be cuz the last thing I want is to repel people....I don't know if this one if from the detox or if it's just me but I have been super horny the past few days. Granted it's been about 5 1/2 months since I've gotten any, which is the longest I've gone since I lost my virginity, but man is it annoying. I'm terrified to have sex. Even if this detox works, which I pray to God it does, I think I would be scared out of my mind that some one would re-infect me. People in this world have no clue what's going on in their bodies, it's like you have to treat everyone as if they have it. One day at a time though, that's still 36 more days of detox plus 90 days waiting period....that means if this works, I'll have to wait till septemberish to really know. That doesn't seem too bad, that's about the same time my stupid "pre- exsisting conditions" thing on my insurance goes away too, that would just be a great month if I didn't have to go through that hassel and I was cured. At least if anything else came up I would have to pay out of pocket, cuz needless the say I've met my deductable too. Anyway, I think 10 ml is finally starting to effect my body, I really don't want to feel like crap but it's better then feeling fine and still being positive. Ok well I'm off to bed...tomorrow is day 12 and so far so good.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Day 10

So I haven't written in a few days cuz there hasn't been much going on. I've been working out and stuff and I don't know if it's just that or the detox but I've definately had sore muscles...I was kind of worrying a little cuz I haven't had many side effects, which I guess could be good if I don't have much of the virus in my system or could mean it's doing nothing, who knows....My throat is starting to hurt from having to swallow the minerals, bleh. I ran out of juice and I'm too broke to go buy more. So today was the last day of phase 2. Tomorrow I start phase 3 of step 1, so I up my dose from 7ml to 10ml. The only things I have noticed is that the warts are growing more....So I guess that's kind of good, I read good reviews on Wartrol, which is an all natural remedy for the physical side effects of HPV. So I'm going to try that this week. I have a prescription still for aldara but it's like $120 so I 'm not gonna go there unless I really have to...but hopefully as the virus leaves my system the warts will heal on their own. So anyway, day 10 is over and things are still good. I heard that after about a week and a half is when things start to get kind of nasty and I almost hope they do, at least I would know it's working....well I'll let you know if there are new side effects with phase 3.....10 days down, 38 more to go...

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Day 5

Well I just finished day 5. Tomorrow I start the second phase of step 1. I have to up my dose from 4ml to 7ml, which seems like a lot, especially if you have to drink it.....I've been gassy today, which is annoying....but my skin is starting to break out, still not too bad.....I e-mailed resolve herpes and asked them about the juice I have been drinking, I didn't think it was a big deal but the person said I should stick to the juices they mention, there were four of them, I think pineapple, pomegranite......and I don't remember the other two off the top of my head....so now I have to go find that, but I'm pretty much out of apple juice anyway....I read somewhere the apple juice was fine, but oh well. I looked on the website and they changed the system from 3 steps to 2, apparently step 2 is like step 1 but in capsile form, so now it's just a longer time of taking the liquid and then step 3....she said it works the same though. I also asked if it mattered when I took it, like if I had to do it the same time everyday and she said no. I just have to make sure to take it 3 times a day. I've also been kind of itchy, down there....which is pretty normal. I'll probably have an OB at some point during this process. I heard the symptoms get a lot worse around the second week, so it's really too soon to tell how my body will react it it...but I'm still feeling pretty good. I have been waking up a lot at night the past two nights, it might be because I've been sleeping with my blinds open.....Do you ever find that if you change your routine your body reacts different? This morning I woke up and thought it was time for work and it was 2 am....strange....but it's still been easy to remember to take the detox. I just hope this works the first time around and I won't have to do an extention...sometimes people have to take certain steps longer or repeat them. I'm hoping I'll do well with just doing it once, I haven't had HSV and HPV that long so Im hoping it will leave my system easier....well I'll let you know how phase 2 goes.....

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Day 4

Well I didn't post yesterday cuz there really wasn't any new developement...felt fine, no big deal...well today after I took my dose I was feeling a little bit queezy in the head...Wasn't sure if it was from the detox or not though. I have noticed that my skin is starting to break out a little bit, which is one of the said side effects. It's not bad though, just a little pimple here and there and a few on my chest and shoulders.....Sounds gross but it's not that bad actually, very minor. It still tastes gross, just a very strong mineral taste, doesn't smell like anything though. I think the bloating and started though...my stomach is starting to stick out more and I heard that happens through out the whole detox, so so much for losing 25 pounds by my birthday... which I'm finished with the detox the day before my birthday so I can celebrate and not have to take this nastiness anymore. I guess I'm allowed to dilute it more but I usually drink a lot of water or juice afterward. I can't believe I have to take 15 ml, 3 times a day by the end of step one....I didn't think it was that much based on the measuring thing they give you but after tasting it, even 4 ml is more then I want to take. I hope I don't start looking all pregnant from this stuff. I have tried to do detoxes before and stopped doing them cuz my stomach would stick out and it hurt....well tomorrow is my last day of phase 1 of step 1. Starting thursday I up my does to 7ml, 3 times a day...that should be fun...but all in all it hasn't been that hard to keep up on it. I guess when you want something bad enough the determination is just there....but then again it's only day 4 and i'm not sick and tired of the routine yet.....but it does kind of put a damper on going out cuz you have to take it with you and the bottles for step one aren't that small, unless you have a huge purse, which I don't. So anyway....day 4 symptoms, slight nausea, minor skin outbreak, and first stages of bloating......none unbearable and since I'm used to feeling like crap...so far so good...lol....I'll let you know if anything new developes tomorrow, and I'll definately let you know what changes when I up my dose.....keep checking in.....4 days down and 44 more to go...

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Day 2

Well day 2 is complete and things well pretty well...I don't know if this is related, but my muscles hurt....my forearms and my upper back. I have a bad neck anyway which usually gives me back pain but today I've just been sore and I'm not really sure why.....but I haven't had diahrea today. So I guess I should explain how this works.....There are three steps to this detox...You have three bottle of minerals that you dilute, a bottle of pills and two smaller bottles of liquid, one you dilute and another that has a dropper. So the three bottles say A, B and C on them. You take A in the morning, B midday, and C evening....every 5 days you up your dose...right now I'm take 4ml for 5 days, then I'll take 7ml, and so on... I do that for 25 days, then I get a day off......then I take the pills, two of them, three times a day after meals for 7 days and then have a day off.....and I'm kind of confused about step three...I think you take of few drops of one and a few ml of the other and mix them together or something....three times a day.....You're not supposed to have any added vitamin C throughout the process because apparently it slows the effectiveness of the minerals....so make sure you are eating healthy and taking your correct dosage...I wash it down with organic apple juice and I'm good to go.....already I feel really good....I'm tired now cuz it's bed time, but I feel optimistic about the process.....I know it's expensive but I think it would be worth it just to feel better....but then again, it's only day 2 who knows what's in store....I'll keep you updated

Detox Day 1

Well I survived my first day of the detox...needless to say it tastes nasty. Of course right? actually it tastes like minerals but we all know that doesn't taste good. I also bought some organic apple juice to go with it and that's not very good either.....As far as symptoms go I'm been doing alright, I actually have felt better today then I have in months.. I've had a lot of energy and was just in a really good mood, mainly because I just had a great day....but the only side effect I've really had is diarrhea....I know that's kind of graphic but it is one of the side effects so I know it's cleaning out my system....So far so good, it's going to be tough to keep this up for 47 more days but it will be worth it if I can have other days as great as today.....

On a separate note, I went to the interview for the bachelor and it was pretty fun..I was the 10th person in line and the whole thing only took like 2 1/2 hours long...they said they would call me in 6 weeks if they want me.....which gives me time to finish this detox, have it work within the following 90 days and then be CURED just in time for the taping of the show! how awesome would that be? Plus it gives me time to drop 25 pounds to look dead sexy in a bikini...We'll see about that....anyway, it's been a great day and I hope that things continue to look up =)

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Bachelor

So tomorrow are the bachelor casting call in bellevue and I was thinking about going. Man, would I love to meet some one but I just don't feel like I would meet that "perfect" standard of the kinds of women that are on there....Am I wasting my time? As I was reading through the terms of agreement it talks about allowing them to disclose any personal information about you including medical history...could you imagine? the whole world knowing I have HSV and HPV...what a nightmare! I'm starting my detox tomorrow and I have a feeling I'm going to be miserable....and I would have to be able to take 6 months off if I actually proceed? how would I pay rent? Just doesn't seem realistic, whoever came up with the idea of a reality show was living in a fantasy cuz that's not reality....Ever since the last Bachelor when Jason was from here I thought it would be cool to try, not to mention there is a serious guy drought where I'm from...I shouldn't have to tell anyone about my condition unless I want them to know. I understand that they wouldn't want to put anyone else at risk but I wouldn't never be like all those others who spread it and don't say anything. So I think I'll go tomorrow and see what it's all about and stand in a room with a million gorgeous women and not feel like I even compare....but at least its another life experience, and if this detox works, who knows maybe I can be the next bachelorette ;)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

To Tell or Not to Tell

So I was seeing this guy that I met online a few months ago.. We started hanging out and hit it off pretty good. He was cute, he had a nice smile and we even shared the same birthdate....but there were just a few things about him that really wasn't what I knew I wanted in along term relationship...I was hesitant as to let myself really like him....well, like most guys would, he started to pursue a sexual relationship which I of course was not interested in with my "condition" and all. I would never put some one at risk without there knowledge and consent. I unfortunately was not given that choice.....So I of course held back and told him that I didn't think we should have sex....well the time came where I needed to let him know what was going on with me. He told me when we met that STD's were a deal breaker for him I was so sure he would head for the heals if I told him. Hoping he would respect my honesty and know enough about my character to support me as a person even if it ended out romantic relationship....I went back and forth trying to find the right words......
So we were texting and he seems kind of stand offish, not like his normal chatty self.....He had been bugging me about something for a few days so I finally told him I would help him and he said that he thought he would pass.....Like what? So I asked him what was up and he said that he thought about it and he's not a relationship kind of guy and only wanted to be friends. He said was a pig.......a pig? why do you say that? He said that he only wanted sex and he couldn't be through that.....wow....finally a guy who admits what he is looking for and protects your feelings anyway? what a relief.....for the last year I have only found guys who were interested in getting in my pants, (which is how I ended up where I am now) but finally I stand my ground and at least he respects me enough as a friend not to toy with me.....but what's even better is that I didn't have to tell him about the HPV and HSV......he would have never understood.....I am so RELIEVED!!!!! I really would like the closeness and the support of a relationship, but I'm starting the detox on saturday and I certainly don't want to deal with fighting off reasons why I don't want to have sex....plus I'm just not ready......so here I am, single again....I guess I wasn't even officially taken, but I'm back to square one...so the moral of the story is, don't tell people who don't really need to know, and don't get into a situation with some one who wouldn't understand if you had to tell them.........with that being said.......I have 3 days till my detox and I sure hope I don't screw it up....wish me luck

Monday, April 13, 2009

The Nuva Ring

So I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but I got a call from the Dr. and all the tests they did came back negative which is really good. No HPV in the skin, no Chamydia, no yeast or anything....so why was I having cramping? Well I had just stopped using my birth control cuz I didn't have anymore and couldn't afford it...Well I think my body just freaked out because of lack of hormone because I started my period and I swear the flood gates opened. I have never in my life had a period like that. My stomach is starting to feel better, still a little achey and the breast pain is starting to subside so that's good. I still don't think the antibiotics the dr. gave me did anything. I have a friend who got off the ring too and she said her body freaked out for 3 months afterward...come to think of it, my body freaked out when I started on the ring too, I think your body just needs to adjust to the change. I used to freak out every month that I was Pregnant cuz something always seemed weird. Never pregnant though....man my boyfriend was tired of me crying wolf. If I was pregnant I'm sure he wouldn't have believed me...I think I would have rather been pregnant than ending up with STD's. Well I only have 2 antibiotics left, I think I'll take them anyway, just cuz and come next tuesday, i think I decided, was when I was going to start the detox....I feel really crappy on a daily basis...I'm ready to get back to normal...not to mention a friend of mine said I need to tell the guy I"m seeing that I have this. I know he won't understand and will probably not talk to me anymore. I'm pretty sure he's not the one, but I enjoy spending time with him. I'm not ready to burn that bridge yet. Do you feel that touching is putting them at risk of getting it? I know it's in my system and I know where I'm infected at and only his hand has touched there, but not while having an outbreak....I think he has a right to know, but we haven't had sex and I wouldn't do that without him knowing. I feel like I shouldn't have let things go as far as they have already.....I don't feel like I put him at risk, although he may view differently..I want people to see me for me and trust that i would never harm them intentionally. I sure hope this detox works, I can't live in the shadows that rest of my life.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Postponed

So I've had to post pone starting the detox. I've been having some abdonimal discomfort and I wasn't sure if I had an infection or not..I went to the OB/GYN to have her check it out. She felt around and everything seemed fine...but she thought some of the outter skin looked discolored, which is where my original warts had appeared. So she wanted to do a biopsy of it. She had to give me a shot to numb the area so she could cut a piece..she said it would feel like a bee sting..I don't know about you but I have never been stung by a bee on my vagina...OUCH!!! and apparently it bled a lot cuz she had to give me a stitch. That really sucked....so they tested for Chlamydia (which I haven't been active in months so I don't know where I would get that from) BV as well as HPV on the skin and they all came back negative. But I still have this discomfort, my co worker thinks it's my digestive system, which would be an easy fix, otherwise I'll have to have an ultra sound. I stopped taking my birth control cuz I didn'thave any and don't really need it right now. I was thinking the lack of hormone or change for that matter could be causing painful ovulation...who really knows....But I'm on these antibiotics to see if it helps...once I get this new issue under control I will start on my venture of curing myself...what an odd concept...

Friday, April 3, 2009

Pre-Herpes Resolve

Well, to start things off I guess I'll tell you what's been going on with me....back in november 2008 I found a few bumps in my genital region. Assuming they were just pimples I ignored them...Well a few days went by and they weren't going away, I started to get a little worried thinking I had herpes so I freaked out, arranged a Dr.'s appointment to have it check and get STD checked for everything, I mean everything....So I had gone to the free clinic where they tested me for Chlamydia and Gonnerhea, the nurse told me if it was herpes I wouldn't be able to walk, so I was relieved. Yet I still scheduled an appointment with and actual Dr. to have it looked at as well as get blood work done for those STD's you just can test for my peeing in a cup.
When I got to my appointment I told the Dr. what i had been thinking it might be, but instead of her actually diagnosing me she almost just agreed that what I thought it was might be possible. She didn't say anything about the bumps really but took a swab of the fluid down there...I told her I thought I had a UTI as I have been prone to them and was having some bladder discomfort by that time. She went and looked at the swab and saw some bacteria. So she came back in the room and said she thought I had bacterial vaginosis which is not an STD and can present itself if you are stressed or there are changed in the body...So she gave me antibiotics as well as some for the UTI....I get home and get a call from the free clinic that I had Chlamydia....not BV. I was horrified, who would give me Chlamydia? The last time I was tested was 6 months prior to that and I was good. Well through the process of elimination I think I figured out who it was based on the fact that when I saw him he was a total ASS to me after having told him. As if that wasn't annoying enough I paid for a prescription for two things I didn't even have...I thought Dr.'s were supposed to tell you what's wrong with you...anyway, I got a notice in the mail saying I was negative for UTI and RPR. Well at the time I didn't know what an RPR was I called. Well 3 days later they finally called me back and said I was positive for HSV1.....I was in total shock, well they didn't actually tell me it was type 1 they just said I was positive....I couldn't believe it, I couldn't have herpes.
So after coming to terms with it a bit I kept an eye on the bumps that were still there, and decided to get a second opinion once my insurance kicked in three weeks later....By that time they had developed enough for me to self diagnose myself with HPV/Warts....The only surprise was that I had a few spots on my cervix and my Dr. wanted me to see an OB/GYN to have them looked at closer.....so that's where this all starts.....After having the warts removed 3 times, weekly treatments, 2 biopsies (neither which felt good at all) and a herpes outbreak later I decided I had had enough.....I started doing my homework on herpes and warts, taking my vitamins, eating plenty of broccoli, taking L-Lysine. Well I haven't had a herpes outbreak since but the warts certainly are a pain.....Plus amidst of this all, I'm single, who is going to want to date me with this........well I was cruising the net one day for hope and I came across this website, Herpesresolve.com.....seemed too good to be true, a cure for herpes and hpv? what do I have to lose....if it doesn't work then lesson learned and if it does? I can go back to a normal life? It may be expensive, but if it's life changing then it's worth it. So I'm going to keep you updated every step of the way. I've had the three step detox for awhile now but due to the fear of symptoms and consistency of taking it, I've postponed it till now....So within the next few days we will see how it goes...check back for updates on my progress......pray hard and hope for the best.----