71 Days Post Resolve

I don't have a lot of time to write a lot today but I thought I should let you know what's been going on with the guy I met....Things were a little rocky once we met, a lot of mixed emotions getting back into the dating world....I just felt like if anyone was going to understand what I've been through it would be him....So I really felt like I needed him to know....we sat down and I told him everything...and guess what!? He said it was ok! Can you believe it?! I have never felt so much relief on my whole life....I've still been my own worst enemy when it comes to just about everything but he's been an amazing comfort and just having the support of some one who thinks I'm beautiful inside and out makes all the difference. Things still aren't perfect but it gives me hope....Just wanted to let you all know there are decent human beings left in the world and I'm so lucky to have found one...

64 Days Post Resolve

So I just wanted to apologize for my last post...I was really upset that day....So I went to the Dr. to get the last of my warts removed thinking things were going great, they'd gotten so much better....blah blah blah....So I left work early to make it to my appointment and had a to run 2 errands before hand...So I had to go pick up this check and when i got to the place the lady couldn't find it...so I was like, I'll come back later I'm going to be late otherwise....so I decided I was going to go in to get my oil changed and drop my car off while I was at my appointment because it was right across the street. So there was a lot of traffic so I had to walk down to the crosswalk where I waited for probably three light cycles before the stupid crosswalk sign turned green. Then I finally got to the mulitcare place and realized my OB GYN's office moved and I didn't know where it was.....so feeling frazzled I finally found it, which by now I wasw 15 minutes late.....So I check in and sit and wait.....after about an hour wait and probably about 5-7 pregnant women later I finally got called......I was starting to think I was going to have to get knocked up to get some service.....So I get in the room and wait for ANOTHER HOUR......I was about the get dressed and leave, I was pissed. So finally my dr. comes in and she barely remembered me....I was like great, it was like my first visit all over again....So I explained that I still had the warts, etc. I also asked about getting retested for HSV. She said that normally they don't retest once you are positive you are positive, but she said since I asked they would look into it.....she didn't sound very positive or enthusiatic about helping me....So she takes a look and says she didn't like the way things looked and wanted to biopsy the skin down there again.....which means another painful poke in the vagina...I was like, please no, it hurts......she said the other option was surgery to cauterize the area, they would have to put me out cuz it would be a bunch of needle pokes in the vagina otherwise. I was pretty discouraged. I finally thought things were getting better.....but she treated the warts and told me to come back in a week or two.....And man did the treatment hurt this time.....well it's been a week and it looks the same down there. I'd rather just op for the surgery and get it over with..... so that's why I was so upset, just when you think you're getting close, you're not......so that was the bad news of last week.....the good news is I met a great guy! And I told him the truth, he knows everything and he is ok with it! can you believe that? good guys do exsist! I was so nervous to tell him but he is different, I just had a knot in my stomach and had to get it out in the open, I knew if anyone would understand it would be him. It turns out his ex has the same type HSV I have and he never got it....whew....what a relief. The next day I felt amazing, like this huge weight had been lifted....he has been exactly what I've needed....support and all, and we even had sex.....!!!! I finally feel like I have a normally life again....granted I still have been having tingling in my legs, but if I can get rid of these warts then I'll be home free......I still have this fear that it won't work out and I'll go back to being alone again, which is possible, but it gives me hope that i can live a normal life...so all of you who are struggling with being alone.....it can happen, and I was the biggest skeptic of all. Not to mention spontaneous told me two more people tested negative.....things are starting to look up and I just thank God for everything He has done in my life recently.....He is the reason I get up in the morning and keeps me going through the day...Hang in there everyone, it does get easier

57 Days Post Resolve

Mother fucker!!!!!! I just typed a whole novel and it just erased it! UGH!!!! yesterday sucked and when I have the energy to type all that again, I'll tell you why.

56 Days Post Resolve

Well, not much new to report. I've been doing good, been really tired lately but I ran out of vitamins for a time so I think I'm just trying to get my energy back after starting them again...haven't had an outbreak. The warts have gotten a lot better with the compound W and am getting the last of them removed in about 2 hours from my OB/GYN...I think I'll ask her about different tests for HSV....like the western blot and about getting my numbers from my other blood work...I never told her about resolve, I think she would be very skeptical, she is the type that says, yep, it's not curable, take your vitamins....the end.....so I will just check out the tests myself and see what they say...I probably won't do the western blot till my 90 days is up in september, but I'd like to know what my numbers are....I've been having quite a bit of tingling in the back of my legs...I used to have pain there but now it's just tingling so I don't really know what that means....hopefully she will be able to remove most of the warts I have left and with my vitamins and compound W I can be rid of these for good, if more don't appear that is....I definately need to be getting more sleep...I recently moved and haven't felt really rested. the warts were getting a lot better and one day after feeling really tired I noticed they had gotten a little bigger. I just don't want to be fighting this forever.... on a more positive note, I met a GUY!!! he is great and I can see him being a keeper...he doesn't know about my condition but we are taking things slow. I just have a really good feeling about him. So keep us in your prayers that this is the one who will love me for me...my condition has improved greatly and although I haven't been going to the gym and gained back the 5 pounds I lost, that I will continue to try and be healthy and feel good about me for me....hope everyone is doing well...

49 Days Post Resolve

Well I haven't written in awhile so I thought I would just drop in and say that I hope everyone is doing well....As for me... I still have some warts, they've gotten considerably better though. I'm still feeling good, keeping up on my vitamins and resting when I need to...I went Kayaking on saturday and it was super fun. Really enjoying the summer and getting out and doing the things I want to do... I e-mailed resolve to ask them about doing the booster since I still had warts and some itching and tingling. I'm sure it's from the warts, or the compound W. That tends to make them itch more. I think it's more of a healing itch than new warts developing itch...It's very mild regardless. Resolve told me I didn't need to take the booster, they said at this point I just need to apply step 3 to the warts and that's it..I don't have the $40 for the booster anyway, so I'm hoping they are right...I'm still doing good though and actually my sex drive has really kicked up...it's been about 9 months since I've had sex and I've really been feeling it this week...man, vibrators just aren't like the real thing....but actually having a sex drive is a huge step from where I was never seeing myself having sex again...I just feel better in general about my health and happiness....even if I'm not cured if I can live symptom free I'll be ok with that....I recently moved and have really started a new chapter in my life...so I hope everyone is doing just as well...be positive and stay cool...we're having a heat wave here!

36 Days Post Resolve

Well it's day 36 and other then the fact that I ran out of vitamins and am totally exhausted, I'm doing good...I went in for my follow up pap on friday and the Dr. said my cervix looked good, she did not see any white spots and there was only one red spot that she figured was from the biopsy....so that's good news, at least one strand is clearing...I don't have much itching down there anymore, on occasion, but I do have some warts, still using the compound W....I think I've realized that I'm just not attractive for guys or something...they don't want to date me, they just want to have sex with me....I haven't felt very attractive and although I've lost 7 pounds recently and still working on losing more, I just don't feel like guys like me...oh well. I moved this weekend, cut my hair, so I feel like I'm turing over a new leaf....hey did I mention about that guy who basically said I was fat? well he texts me out of the blue and asks if I wanted to have sex with him...like wtf? why do you want to have sex with me, you're not even attracted to me? what a typical guy response.....he was like do you want to have sex or not, and I was like no! not because of the viruses but by moral standard he's a jack ass and I don't have time for that, even if I haven't had sex in 8 1/2 months.....I'd rather be celebate then get addicted, hurt and left when he moves out of the state.... guys are douches........anyway, I feel empowered that I said no.....I'm standing my ground....and although I may end up a crotchedy cat lady...at least I didn't let guys take advantage of me anymore...one day I'll be in control of my health and be able to have realtionships again......until then, I've been having this pain in my left breast, I wouldn't say there is a lump but there is some breast tissue directly related to the pain...my dr. is keeping an eye on it...pray it's not cancer...I'm only 24, that's the last thing I need right now

31 Days Post Resolve

Well it's officially been a month since I ended the detox, so about 4 weeks. Surprisingly enough I have no symptoms. I still have a few warts but the compound W is slowly but surely taking care of them. I don't have any tingling or itching down there today. I do have a cold. I had a really stressful week at work last week and now I've got it bad. It concerns me a little because I got colds frequently because my immune system was lowered before I did the detox. I ran out a vitamins and can't get more till the beginning of the month. I'm hoping this doesn't mess things up..I have my pap today. Not seeing my OB/GYN cuz she is on vacaton and I'm about a month overdue for my pap so I want to get that done so my OB/GYN can see the results. I'll probably go in on the 5th to have her check things out....if I continue to use the compound W, the warts may all be gone by then. So that's encouraging. My biggest fear right now is that I've been having some pain in my left breast. I have one particular spot that I know it's coming from. I don't know if it's really a lump there cuz I've always had lumpier breast tissue but I don't have it on the other side, even though I get pain there less frequently. I few years ago I had some major pain the same breast and it was just irritated lymph glands. Breast cancer runs in my family, but I'm not supposed to start getting mamograms for another 3 years. So just pray it's nothing serious. It didnt' really start bothering me until I started the detox, now it's been off and on for a while. It's been most consistent in the last few days but I think it might be because I should start my period next week. Not sure, will all the stress and everything and lowered immune system. I'm fearful I have cancer too. A friend of mine just recently had a double mastectomy. If I found out I had cancer, I would not resort to a mastectomy. I'm only 24, I want to have a family someday.....so keep me in your prayers that everything goes well at the Dr. today....otherwise things are going well. Moving this weekend and apart from the cold, I'm moving forward.

23 Days Post Resolve

Well, I've been super depressed as you all know, feeling worthless and unlovable...I'm still having itching and tingling down there. I still have the warts and I know those cause itching, but this detox is supposed to get rid of that too...the compound W is working slowly but surely, but I'm going in for my follow up pap smear today and I'll have her remove the rest of them then....Trying not to get more is the hard part. I don't know how to keep my immune system up. I take vitamins everyday...I desperately need to get more sleep though. .I'm exhausted and with what happened with that jack ass last night I'm beat.....what sucks even more was that he really wasn't a jerk about it at all...he basically very politely told me that I lied about the way I looked, which I guess I just know how to take good pictures of myself cuz I don't look fat in them, but I guess I am...regardless of how me said it, it still hurt just the same. It wouldn't have been so bad but my weight has been the biggest issue with me lately and I really didn't need some guy, who I thought liked me for me, to point it out and make me feel even worse. Especially cuz I know he likes sex and that's something I couldn't give him if I wanted to right now...I really need some support from a guy, not necessarily a boyfriend, just a guy who can hold me and be honest and help me understand how guys will handle this. I'm still praying resolve works...I just want the warts to be gone, I can at least still have a normal sex life as long as I don't have something contagious down there constantly...but I have been working out regularly and now that I've been so stressed I've been working out harder...I have a new, no carbs diet plan as well as a weekly workout routine. I'm going to kick butt and when I'm done I'm going to be sexy as hell and all them dumb asses will eat their words cuz they're not getting any from me......I'm thankful I've been cursed with these viruses cuz they taught me a valuable lesson. A good friend of mine made a valid statement, she said being fat has helped me wein out the jerks, which is true. I'm not going to be the same size forever, especially when I have kids and I need some one to encourage me to be healthy but love me whether I'm 140lb or 180lbs......I'm working on it, slowly but surely. I'm going to go for a walk, work up a sweat before my dr.'s appointment. wish me luck

Horrible Night

So remember the date i mentione I was supposed to have. Well my worst fears came true....not only did I have this feeling all day like he was going to cancel but I feared he would not find me attractive.....Bingo!.....so I get this text from him saying he got promoted they are all going out to celebrate and he had to cancel our date.....then later he called and asked me to come over...so I drop all over the freakin country side because his directions were the long way around and when I got there he was totally cold to me. We watched a very sexually suggestive movie and he kept making comments about how the girls in the movie were hot and never even looked at me....I told him to just give it to me straight....he said I didn't look like my pictures, that I needed to update then....that the ones I sent him weren't even close to what I really looked like. Do you know how bad that hurts, to worry all week that you're not good enough to have that be validated.....the part that hurt me initially was that I really liked him and thought he could be husband material but he is going on a 5 month tour to alaska for the coast guard and when he's done he is moving to florida so I wouldn't be able to pursue a relationship even if I wanted to......I guess God really has His ways of closing the doors...and I certainly wouldn't tell this guy about my viruses and such.....I just feel like the worst shit there ever was....I've started thinking about suicide again....no one needs me here and obviously I'm some how unlovable to guys.....I don't want to die, I want to be happy but I can't live being this miserable...I want to stop eating also, maybe then I'll be skinny enough for some one to find me attractive...I sure do hate my life right now....

21 Days Post Resolve

I'm feeling really discouraged, although my warts seem to be getting a little better with the compound W I saw a few bumps that looked a little red, now I don't know if they are red because of the compound W or if it's an outbreak, I can't feel them, they don't hurt or anything. Maybe this is the last of the herpes after the detox, my clearing symptoms...I'm only about 3 weeks post resolve and still have many many to go so I guess things could really change in the next 2 months....It's just really tingly down there lately and still itchy...I don't know if this is bad or good but it doesn't make me feel postive about being cleared of this virus....I have a dr. appt thursday and I just really hope it goes well... I want these warts to be gone, I'm tired of knowing they are down there....also I have a date tomorrow with a guy I really like, he could be potential husband material. He is really fit and into fitness and he said the best work out for girls to do are squats, lunges, and military press for your arms....all things I hate to do which I probably why I need to lose weight there...I'm really afraid he is not going to be attracted to me and think I'm too fat.... I really want to find the one and I'm tired of this stupid virus being the one thing that's getting in my way from having a relationship. Mainly because it's totally screwing with my head...i'm really starting to feel depressed again, I really want to lose weight and over the last week I've yo yoed these 2 pounds I'm trying to lose....eating cottage cheese and berries for breakfast, salad with raspberry lime organic vinegarette and whatever for dinner, I just want it to be enough, i'm not comfortable in my own skin and I want some one to find me attractive again...This is a terrible week for me

Guys are rude

So I was just checking my e-mails and stuff. I met this guy online awhile back and we started talking and I felt like I could be really open with him....I told him everything about me, even the deepest darkest parts of me. On two occasions I told him something personal, the first time he fell asleep on the phone and the second time we got disconnected. Both times I spilled my guts to him and he didn't hear it. Accident or not it really frustrated me because it took a lot for me to tell him the things I did. When he knew the truth, even about the STD's he was very understanding and still wanted to date me. i don't know if I was really interested in him or not but it was nice to talk to some one....well I got frustrated when he didn't hear what I said and I said a lot and really didn't want to repeat myself...anyway, he had a falling out over that whole situation but later we kind of reconnected and decided to start over....so he sends me this message asking when we were getting together and I told him I was really busy for the next few weeks. Which I am, I worked in a fireworks booth everyday after work for like 5 days and I'm moving in 2 weeks and haven't packed a thing....I'm just stressed. So he said that I was full off bullshit and excuses. I was like um, no, we never even got to the point in the relationship where we were planning to meet up and I really have been busy. So I told him the truth about what I've been up to and the fact that I've been talking to some one who is potential husband material...so out of respect for him I don't really want to see other guys....so after all that I was like, what do you think? He said I was a Fucking God Psycho with STDs.....is that not a low blow or what? I mean, this guy is an ex marine who is seriously screwed up in the head from being in iraq, who is going to therapy over it...I would NEVER poke at the fact that he had a hard time over there, and he said he cared about me and respected me for telling him the truth and then he throws it in my face?! I don't understand guys, they are fine one second and flip out the next. He said he had been going to church and wanted some one to go with....so I've held him accountable to his faith and he tells me I'm a God Psycho? what is wrong with this picture? I think the part that discourages me the most is that I really want this new guy to be the one....although I think the Compound W is working and I'm getting better there is still this fear of having to confront this issue with this new guy. Last night we talked on the phone and I told him I've been working out, trying to lose weight. He asked me how much I weigh....I really didn't want to answer because I don't want him to view me as being some one who weighs 167lbs. The hard part about meeting guys online is that they can come up with this totally wrong image of you and then they are disappointed when they really see you....I want to be 140lbs but it's going to take a little time. Hopefully by the end of summer I will have lost at least 15lbs....with the holiday I've back tracked a little, but I'm going to start working out again today.....I just really want hope that this detox really worked...I don't want to worry about the HSV....the cervical cancer HPV can be removed if it's really bad and apparently the warts will go away in time and I won't even have to worry about it anymore.....I don't want to be honest with people about what I've got going on for them to just throw it in my face when they get angry...what happened to the good and decent people in this world? =(

19 Days Post Resolve

Well I thought I should right something since it's been about a week....so the itching has gone down a lot. I've been using Compound W wart removing gel on my warts, I think they are actually starting to get better. I still have my dr.'s appt. on thursday or my pap. otherwise things have been good, energy is good....working on eating healthier and working out....moving in two weeks and haven't packed a thing so I'm trying to get it altogether....I met a guy that so far I really like, he's potential husband material even. He doesn't know about the warts or HSV...I did tell him about the HPV (cervical cancer strand) which is none threatening to him....but he asked me what my take on sex was....and I like it but it's been about 8 months since I've had any and certainly am not ready to jump into bed with anyone....It's encouraging that the warts are getting a little better..once those are gone I will be much more hopeful....I really think that the virus being pushed out was causing more warts and more itching cuz they itch before they appear on the skin....no outbreaks that I've noticed, even with the compound W, I would think that would irritate the skin to the point of outbreak like I think the aldara did...so that's a good sign....It's only been 19 days since I ended the detox and it seems like so much longer.... I can't believe I have like 71 more days to go in this wait.....I hope that this new guy turns out to be the one....if I can get rid of these warts I'll be home free.....I hope he will understand I'm not looking to jump in the sack right away....I hate it when you first find some one you like and start obsessing over it.....I just have a good feeling about this guy....so keep your fingers crossed, for a cure and for a husband...cuz I'm so ready for the next step and I would love to find the one to have amazing sex with...sorry if that's an overshare but you know we all feel that way.....ok, well that's enough for one night. hope everyone is doing well...I'm pretty good....so yay

Itching & Tingling part 2

So I e-mailed resolve and they told me my symptoms are normal cuz my body is healing...they told me to give it 4 to 6 weeks. It's already been 2 so I'm sure hoping things will get better in the next 2 to 4 weeks...I noticed that my warts have definately gotten bigger, assuming the virus is being pushed out....I stopped using the detox topically cuz I they weren't getting smaller but they are definately bigger. So I saw a commercial for Compound W wart removal and I think I'm going to try some of that on the ones that they don't burn off at the dr...most of them seem big enough to be removed...so I guess this is just the second phase of my recovery, hoping that this next treatment will do the trick....It's not like it just itches down there, it's everyone. My back, my neck, my arms, mostly my legs but it's crazy how itchy I am....But the burning in my leg from earlier almost felt like heat zapping the virus..it's a crazy feeling. So I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that this really is a good thing.....

13 Days Post Resolve- Itching & Tingling

Ok so for whatever reason today the skin on the mid to upper part of my thighs as been really itchy and tingly. I never really felt that before, I did have pain in my butt and lower right leg before which I haven't had lately but I did have a tingling feeling shooting up and down my leg....mostly the skin on my legs just itch....The resolve team said that itching is normal...but I don't know about this. I'm a little concerned...I just kind of feel itchy all over...maybe it's all in my head, I don't really know, I don't feel tingly really down there...I guess a little...I don't know, i'm worried that the detox has warn off and I'm back to where I started....I had a crappy day in general. My friend was supposed to send me money to buy a plane ticket to go see him. I was going to take my vacation from work and fly down there and get all skinny to look good in the summer weather...and now I don't have the money and neither does he. I'll have the money to spend while I'm there but none for a plane ticket...So I'm trying to sell all my stuff, so far I've made about $25 bucks....people really don't want to spend money on stuff...I have these text books that cost a ton back in the day that are basically worth nothing now.....I don't know what to do, this was my vacation...anyone have any suggestions on how I can make money fast....and legal.....?

12 Days Post Resolve

So I e-mailed resolve and asked them about the cold sore and warts...they said my symptoms are normal and I'm doing everything correctly...they assured me that warts are harder to get rid of....cuz I swear the detox only made them bigger....but I'm going to have them removed this week....I've been working out and have felt really great, so much energy. I washed three cars today. I'm exhausted but I feel pretty accomplished....I still have a little itching but I still think it's from the warts I already have....They say that HPV clears your system in 2 years.... I don't really know about that....so even if the detox didn't get rid of it, it would be gone in 2 years anyway? I don't know, but the sooner I can get rid of these warts the better. I think I would be able to forget about all of this if I didn't have that physical symptom. So I'll keep my fingers crossed that my pap goes well too, that the detox hasn't made the affected area worse as well.....But all in all I feel really great, I have most of my energy back and in all just feel good. So that's a good sign...=)

11 Days Post Resolve- Cold Sore?

Ok so yesterday my lip was burning a little bit and I wasn't really sure why. I didn't feel anything but it was red. I have never had a cold sore. Even though I have type 1 I don't have it orally....or so I thought, never had a problem with cold sores.... since I'm 11 days post resolve I was like WTF? Well I'll probably still e-mail resolve cuz I kind of stopped using the detox topically, I think it was just making the warts bigger...which in a sense is good cuz I'm going to just have them removed when I go in for my pap next week. I'm sure this "cold sore" was just a clearing symptom, the strangest part though was that by the time I got home the top layer of skin had peeled off the area, there was a small white area in the red....by the next it had a very faint scab.....you couldn't even really tell I had it. So if this was a cold sore it's basically healed in like 2 days... which like the outbreak I had on step one it was very mild, I almost couldn't tell I was having one...So I felt relieved that it's gotten so much better already....I'm starting a pretty intense diet and excersize program. I really want to lose this excess weight...I've been taking my vitamins, working out twice a day, three times a week....tanning, and I'm getting my hair cut Tuesday....I'm undergoing a total body transformation. I'm going to visit a friend of mine in Tennessee in August and he's into body building and stuff, so I'm going to surprise him with my weight loss....I figured I have about 7 weeks or so to reach my goal. I have so many friends though that want to lose weight too we've kind of started a work out club....I'm moving in about 2 weeks and my new roommate wants to lose weight too so this should be a piece of cake... so wish me luck.....I'm getting totally healthy and I'm going to beat these heinous viruses with nutrition and excersize......A new day has come.....

7 Days Post Resolve

It's funny how it seemed like the detox flew by now that I'm done. I couldn't believe how far along I was during the process, and although it took me 60 days to finish and seemed like an eternity it still flew by...Now that I'm done, this 90 days is going by super slow.... Well I have more energy now, I'm motivated to lose weight...although I still feel tired my body doesn't feel run down like it did before, I think now it's just from pure lack of sleep and not the detox...I'm still feeling good otherwise. Part of me thinks the detox is making the warts bigger, I don't know if it's drawing out the remaining virus or what...it's still itches some..it's not too bad...I have to go in for a pap smear here soon to check my HPV (cervical cancer strand) to make sure it hasn't progressed at all...If the warts are getting worse I wonder if the abnormal spots on my cervix have gotten worse. I hope not cuz I don't want another biopsy, they are not fun. I decided I'm just going to have the larger warts removed. i was hoping the detox would get rid of them, but I don't have time to wait for them to go away, I want them gone now. Hopefully once removed they won't come back.....I wish they could burn off the smaller ones too but I guess there is too much risk of damaging the skin or something...Anyway...I sure hope this detox gets rid of everything....So I've been talking to some one else who has warts too and she went to a sexual health clinic and they said the virus should clear her (my) system in 2 years and if all physical symptoms are gone then you wouldn't need to tell people you have it....I guess I'm just used to the whole HSV concept of always shedding the virus, I would think it's the same. I mean I got this from some one and I'm pretty sure he didn't have any physical warts when he gave it to me....most guys don't know they have stuff like this...obviously...unless they were just a jack ass and deliberately subjected me to this....that's so unfair....Anyway....things are progressing nicely, I'm taking my vitamins daily...I've worked out yesterday and today and taking half hour walks on my lunch break...I may be going to visit a friend cross country at the end of the summer so I need to get bikini body ready now....that's my new goal....Summer, here I come...

2 Days Post Resolve

Well, it's day 2 of not having to take this stuff anymore and it's wonderful!!!! I feel good and have been taking my vitamins daily. I had some really amazing fruit yesterday and today....honestly...I kind of feel the way I did before I got diagnosed with everything. I mean I know it's too soon the tell and obviously I still have the warts, which I'm working on...but by september 16th I will be rid of all of this junk and be on with the rest of my life. I'm trying to get healthy and I think I'm going to go work out today even...I was supposed to go swimming last night but decided to eat ice cream and french fries with my friend instead....but I'm tired of being my size, it's unacceptable and I'm going to do something about it now that I'm well enough to get off the couch. I've been tanning too and that makes me feel really good...I move in a month and it's just really symbolic for a new phase in my life...I've notice that everyone I went to high school with is getting married and it's my turn...I'm determined to be the person I want to be and not just a subject of my circumstances anymore....here's to the next 87 days to heal and the rest of my life to be happy. =)

Day 60-- I'M DONE!!!!!

YAY!!!!! I don't have to drink this junk anymore!!!!! I do still have to use it topically, hopefully that will get rid of the warts. I still have them, I don't know if they are getting better or not.... I'm super tired today, I'm taking my vitamins starting tomorrow. I can't wait to have energy again... I had a bit of a stomach ache this morning about an hour or two after my dose, but water really helped....I have a few pimples but they aren't nearly as back as they were in the beginning. I noticed that the itching became really noticable when I started using it topically, so I don't know if it's a clearing symptom of what....but the resolve team told me to give it 6 weeks. I may go get the warts removed just to speed up the process. Anyway, I'm just relieved to be done. I can't believe it's been exactly 60 days!!!!! that seems like an eternity to be taking something....yay for me!!!! Now we wait.....

Day 58- Extension Day 2

Oh HORRIFIC STOMACH PAIN!!!! I don't know what it is about 17 and 18 drops but last night I was awakened by the worst stomach pain! I don't know if it's because I didn't really eat much that was solid or because I took it right before bed or what....but just when I get rid of the stomach ache I have to take another dose and it starts all over again. It's not just something that wears off after a few minutes either, they come in waves and hit you when you least expect it. I tried eating a lot before hand, I tried drinking water, eating an apple, tums.....everything. The only thing that helped was walking around and then laying flat on my stomach.....it even hurt worse to touch my stomach. You know, at the end of step one it was a lot nastier too, maybe because the minerals were kind of set in the bottle...maybe with the higher amount of drops and the settled minerals at the bottom of the activator it just didn't settle well. Well I'm almost out of activator, I may or may not have enough for one more dose of 5ml's. I did go buy lemon juice though, which they say to subsitute if you run out... I do still have to use it topically so I needed to get something. I was debating on whether to finish the extension cuz I don't know if I can stand this stomach pain for two more days. I think I'm going to try and attempt my second dose, maybe using the lemon juice will be better since i won't have the settled minerals to stir things up....I still have been using it topically too and this morning it totally burnt the crap out of my skin...No wonder it's messing with my stomach if it's eating my flesh right off my body......ugh!!!! I'm so tired of this detox.....I'm still feeling good up until last night...and without this stomach pain I'd be good...only 2 more days......keep your eye on the prize, but word to the wise.....the extension sucks!!!!!!!!

Day 57- Extension Day 1

Well I officially finished the scheduled Resolve plan..I'm now onto day 1 of the 4 day extension per the recommendation of the resolve team. The itching isn't that bad, I think it might be getting better, I find it's mostly in the morning right when I get up and at night....Maybe it has something to do with me healing myself in while I sleep. Well I've only taken one dose of the extension today but I still feel fine....I recently had an eye exam and got new glasses and contacts and for whatever reason when I wear my contacts in my right eye I can't see right...part of me wonders if it's from the detox, cuz my eyes have been pretty dry. I didn't have a problem seeing before my eye exam so I'm kind of concerned that it won't get corrected. My glasses seem to be ok.....only 3 more days and hopefully when I get off this stuff things will start to go back to normal......well, I'm having a relaxing saturday at home, got a good nights sleep and still feeling good =)

Day 55- 5 days to go!

Yeah, you read that right.....tomorrow was supposed to be my last day but since I still have some itching, resolve said that I have to do the 4 day extension. So tomorrow is officially my last day of 3 step, then I'll I'll do the 4 day extension and hopefully that will take care of the itching....sometimes the things they say contradict themselves cuz they say you can have clearing symptoms but should continue to take it if you still have symptoms.....but I guess at some point they should stop if you're cured......I knew I'd have to take the extension....really not looking forward to 20 drops....anyway....5 days to go....no big deal...one step closer to a cure....

Day 54- 2 Days to go!

Well I have 2 days left, technically. I'm still treating the warts and I don't know if they are getting better or not...I still have some itching down there, so I have a feeling I'll have to do the 4 day extension....I'll also continue to treat the warts topically until they are gone I guess even after I finish taking the detox....no looking forward to getting up to 20 drops of step 3. Today was 12 drops and tomorrow is 14 drops and 5ml. It's strange how you get used to the gross taste. It still tastes like chlorine and it's still nasty to drink but you still kind of get used to how gross it is...kind of weird...Anyway, I'm still feeling good inside, no other symptoms other that fatigue and pimples....step 3 has been a breeze! Thank God for that. I've been sick enough on this stuff....well I should get some sleep, my eyes have been pretty dry, I think that's a side effect too, it really adds to the fatigue....well I'll probably write in 2 days my last day and let you know what the resolve team says about doing the extension...with the extension I'll have been taking this for exactly 60 days! that's 2 months! insane..... well I'm proud of myself for sticking to it...I'm going to beat this crap I tell you! =)

Day 52- the count down begins!

Only 4 days left to go....I still have some warts, I think they have gotten a little better. The resolve team said to continue to use step 3 topically for the next week and they will see if I need to do an extension...I'm not even worried about the HSV anymore, I just want these warts gone and I never want to deal with them again. It's just embarrassing. I couldn't imagine having a sex life and having warts, I don't want anyone to see that or have to touch it. Tomorrow is day 11 of step 3- 12 drops and 5ml's of this nasty junk....Thankfully this has been the easiest step because I don't have symptoms other than two rather large and annoying pimples and being tired as usual. I just got new contacts too and that doesn't really help with the dry eyes. I got new glasses too cuz the eye dr. said I need to be getting more oxygen to my eyes, I would think that would make me feel more tired, but we will see. It's better than having to have a cornea transplant. The dr. turned my eyelids inside out, which was really weird, and I guess I have a small bump under my right eyelid....guess my contacts are irritating my eyes, I wonder if the detox has anything to do with that..

-My kidneys kind of hurt a little today, my lungs already detoxed during step one, so maybe my kidneys detoxed too...I'm not opposed to having a squeaky clean system..=) But I generally feel good, I don't really have a nasty taste in my mouth like I did during step 2. It's really gross to begin with but it's weird how you get used to how disgusting it is.....If people haven't ever done shots I don't think they could do this detox...you just have to be like 1, 2, 3....down the hatch... one symptom I have had on step 3 was gas...remember when you were a kid and you were like S.B.D.... silent but deadly? yeah, really immature, but that's totally step 3....quiet farts but man do they stink....I'm not one to talk about gas, but when you get to step 3 you might need to leave the crowd for a minute.....

Step 3:

gas
pimples
fatigue

that's pretty much it....I would count down the 4 days I have left but with these warts I may end up doing an extension....so we will see....this has been quite the journey and I can't believe I stuck with it this long.... 52 days...man that almost 2 months....I couldn't do a 10 detox before and I've managed to stick it out for 2 months, through fevers, and nightmares, and gas.......I think it would be a lot harder if I had a lot of bloating. Other than some slight finger swelling and a little bit of stomach bloating it wasn't painful like some other detoxes I've done......Well...here's to four more days and then the rest of my life......Cheers!

Day 50- Happy Birthday to Me!

Today was my birthday...yay....I love my birthday, even if things don't work out the way you planned....it's still a day about you. The one day you can be selfish and not feel bad about it....something I've learned over the years, as I've gone out of my way for friends time and time again, sometimes you just need to take time for you. You need to have a day of your own. Although it seems as though I share a birthday with a handful of people, I started the day sharing the morning with my friend who also has my birthday. So we went to the zoo and had a great time. Even though I didn't get to sleep in, the time we allowed for the zoo was just enough. I came home and took a nap, went and bought a new birthday outfit and went to dinner with my dad, sister and friend. About a month ago I ordered a new bed set- comforter, pillow shams, throw pillows, etc...and it just happened to get delivered while I was at dinner, so I came home to a surprise package. It was kind of my birthday present to myself and it arrived on my birthday. How perfect is that? So I'm super excited about that. I just felt very fortunate through this whole day that I felt good, I've felt better than I have in months. The warts aren't gone but there is certainly light at the end of the tunnel. I'm really going to focus on being healthier once I have more energy. Sleep is certainly one thing I've lacked this weekend.

-For all of you who are doing this detox, thinking about it, or feel like there is no hope- don't give up. There are still little pleasures and things to look forward to in life, and when days like your birthday roll around, you really know who your true friends are. So many people have surprised me today. As disgusting as this detox is.....it's been worth it to feel the way that I do now....I'm just so glad I don't feel sick inside....I wish the day wouldn't end, but for what I planned and how it turned out, I feel very greatful.....thanks everyone who gave me birthday wishes, that meant a lot to me, and I appreciate the support....

Tomorrow I up my dose to 10 drops and 5ml- which means it's going to get that much more gross- but tomorrow is another promising day that I'm looking forward to. -Have a great weekend everyone!

Day 48, part 2

So I waited to take my second dose today till after dinner because I wanted to use it topically. When I used it it seemed like some of my warts were a little bit better than before, maybe this stuff is working faster than i thought. A few more days of this and I could be all clear......that would be so sweet!.....oh one symptom I forgot to mention which I don't really have a problem with now, but I didn't sleep well for about a week or so, and kept having very vivid dreams. Nightmares even...I kept having the same dream that some one steals my car. I had it last night and also that some one was in my apartment and just when I found then and started to beat the crap out of them I woke up...lol...that's what I get for sleeping with the window open...lol....well I really hope all that goes away when I stop taking this....I'm pretty sure it will. Well tomorrow I'm up to 8 drops and 3ml's..The should be really gross.....well I'm off to organize my bills and try to keep cool. It's about 85 today, hot hot hot.....well I'll let you know how gross the dose is tomorrow....lataz

Day 48

Well today really should be my last day of this detox....but....it's not....too bad for me. I still have 8 more days left.....that just seems unheard of. I've been on this stuff FOREVER....it will feel weird not to take it... I still feel good, still using step 3 topically. Haven't really seen any improvement, other than the itching has subsided some, hopefully it will kill it in the skin. Or maybe the itching is a good thing, like a clearing symptom or something. But come day 14 I wonder if I should take the extension. I can't imagine taking 20 drops of this crap, it's so sick. I guess I'll have to ask them when it gets closer. But then again that 90 day waiting period is also crucial to clearing out whatever is left of these viruses. Regardless, I still feel really good, I've been tired, falling asleep on the couch after work, but that's a normal symptom. I'm still kind of irritable and moody. With my birthday coming up and my plans keep getting changed it doesn't help much. Kind of makes me want to flip out on people and I'm normally not that way.... so as a recap, here are the symptoms I've experienced:

fatigue
pimples on face, back, legs, armpits, scalp
stomach pain
nausea- vomiting once
fever- chills
dehydration
diahrrea the first day
loose stools
gas
bad taste in my mouth
night sweats
slight runny nose
moodiness/ mood swings
finger swelling (temporarily)
dry eyes
bloating
itching
minor outbreaks

and anything I missed you can find in my entries below.....I can't believe how close I am to being done....at 5 days I think I'll start the count down...=) all I ask for now is to have a good birthday on saturday..

Day 47

I feel surprisingly great today! The sun is out, I'm still a little tired, but generally feel good inside. Healthier even. I don't really feel any tingling down there like before. I still have the warts, which itch when new ones develope, but, I'm treating those topically and so we will see what kind of success I will have with that. I'm supposed to get my pap this month, but I don't even have the $20 for my copay so I'll have to wait till next month. By then i'll be done with this nasty stuff. I took 6 drops and 3ml's today....oh heavens, it was nasty. I definately need to mix it with something other than apple juice....I think the cup I've been using will forever smell like chlorine. It says if you run out of the activator, you can use lemon juice. I bet that would make it taste a lot better, but very tart/sour. Otherwise, I'm doing good. The pimples are dying down some. I've been using Burt's Bees skin cream wash. Feels pretty nice. I think I will forever have physical scars from some of these pimples though, they were nasty looking. Still have some inflammation from one on my neck though. I've been out in the sun though and that has always helped my skin stay clearer. Well for all of those who read this blog and aren't as far in the detox...there is hope...like I said, my insides generally feel better and I haven't been able to say that in months....Yay Back to health minerals, you taste so gross but make me feel so good...lol....well i'm off to take my second dose today..yuck yuck yuck....

Day 46

ok so I wrote my last entry after midnight so really monday was day 45 and tuesday, today, is day 46. Just so you aren't confused....So today hasn't been that bad. Made sure to mix my dose with juice, NOT WATER. Any juice that is a little thicker is good so it doesn't take on the taste of the detox as much. Tomorrow I up my dose to 6 drops and 3ml's which should be pretty nasty....As far as symptoms go, I don't really feel much of anything down there. I still need to get rid of the warts, and it's been a little itchy towards the front but otherwise I don't really feel any tingliness anywhere else like I usually do. So I'm starting to think this stuff really works. If I can get rid of the warts and more don't appear I'll be home free. That's really all I'm worried about is the HPV. I'm almost positive the HSV is gone....I'm still tired though, but I was also out late....Only taking the detox twice a day is nice cuz you don't feel like it's consuming your life as much. It's still gross which makes it worse than the other 2 steps but it's day 4 out of 14 and I feel pretty good. So hopefully it will only get better from here..

Day 45

So I made the mistake of mixing step 3 with water today instead of juice and it was like drinking straight chlorine! Sick sick sick sick, gross gross, ew ew ew, bleh bleh! I can't tell you how nasty it was. Don't you just love it when you some how screw things up and then the consequence doesn't go away. Since I didn't mix it with juice I can't get the taste out of my mouth. This is only day 3, I have to do another day of 4 drops + 1ml and then I move up to 6 drops and 3ml's. This is going ot be fun...well otherwise things haven't changed too much. no major pimples other then the one on my neck. I still have a few small ones on my face but that's really nothing to complain about....so not a whole lot is new other then Step 3 is GROSS!!!!! that's all...gotta hit the sack..catch up with you later

Day 44

Ok, so it's the end of day 2 of step 3......I'm just happy to be done with step 2, I think I was going to throw up if I had to take one more of those pills....I can handle the initial 5 minutes of stomach pain, but if I didn't constantly drink water I felt like I almost had heart burn, like it was going to crawl back up my throat....nasty...and I just couldn't get that after taste out of my mouth. bleh, ew, gross! My off day was really nice, I still had the nasty taste, but not having to take anything was great. Unfortunately I had to go someplace public on my day 1 of step 3 so I had to take in sitting in a car....well needless to say I got some of the minerals on my BRAND NEW black capris and the minerals left orange bleach like spots on them. ARG!!!!!! luckily I could always go buy another pair, but I'm going to see if I can get some dye and dye it back. So frustrating. As if it doesn't suck enough that I have to take this stuff but I accidentally ruined my brand new capris.....otherwise it's been pretty easy to take, it does smell nasty. The other two steps didn't really have a smell but this one is potent. It's a very minimal amount that you take and mix with water or juice at first. Then you up your dose every 2 days, so it's like a much faster version on step 1. I actually feel pretty good today. I think I'm having an outbreak, I saw a few spots today but they don't hurt at all and they are pretty small so I guess I'll see what happens. Maybe they are just clearing symptoms. My warts have gotten bigger but I was told that that I could use step 3 topically. So I tried that today and it did burn, kind of a mild version of having them froze off. I hope it works. Not sure how often I'm supposed to treat it though, I guess that's something else I'll keep my eye on. It's really too soon to say ow this will effect me though, It usually takes a few days for me to really start feeling like crap. I got a sunburn yesterday so that kind of makes me tired, but really I've been feeling pretty good today and yesterday. I only have to take step 3 twice a day so it doesn't seem all consuming of my day.... The worst part is having to wait the 3 minutes when you mix it. It makes it harder to be inconspicuous when taking it.....Tomorrow will be my first day having to take this stuff at work, I'm sure it will be fine though. The weather has been really nice and I think that's really helped my mood. I have been soooo moody through all this, like PMS. I have had some insane rage today. It doesn't help that all my clothes are in a giant pile but I have just been so quick to snap today. I'm totally not like this usually. I can't wait to be off this stuff so I can be back to normal.....I feel really good today, aside from being tired with the sunburn.......maybe this stuff is actually working. They said that sometimes by step 3 you feel like the virus has left your body and you feel good. I still have some itching down there, but using this stuff topically will hopefully take care of that and I'll be good to go.....12 more days and that's it...I may do the extension depending on if the warts go away. I'm due for a PAP this month (june) so we will see, if the warts aren't gone I'm sure they will want to treat them, which would probably be ok. Except my insurance gets billed. oh well......still haven't found anyone I'm interested in really. I actually did find one guy, he has the body type I like, I don't really know him at all but when I see him I'm like mmmm...mmmmm..mmmmm.........kind of makes me feel better but I wish I could find love....and a guy with a body like that...lol.....well I gotta hit the sack soon.....So new symptoms

step 2: nasty taste in mouth
stomach pain
"heartburn"
nausea (very slight but couldn't be cured by the apple)
fatigue
pimples

step 3: acne on back now, large pimples on neck too
sensitivity to the sunlight (through all three stages)


but on the bright side I'm starting to feel better
Well my birthday is saturday and I'm kind of stoked.....so all is pretty good....hope day 3 goes well too, I up my dose tomorrow.
Step 3 is a little weird because you have a dropper bottle and then another bottle that looks like a small version of step 1 and you put in 2 drops which is practically nothing and then 1 ml of the other stuff and let it sit for 3 minutes. Tomorrow it goes up to 4 drops and 1ml...and so on.....well that's how it goes, so still hoping for the best, and hoping this is the easiest step cuz the first 2 were kind of a doozy...well goodnight, talk to you later

Day 40

Well I'm on day 6 of step 2. Tomorrow is my last day with these pills and I can't wait!!!! to not have to take them.....I feel like I want to throw up all the time, bleh.....I'm so tired, I haven't been sleeping well at all, having dreams about screwing up this detox...I always have a sick taste in my mouth too...not fun!!!!!!!! I need a nap. Well, I don't really have anything important to say today, other then feeling overall crappy and tired step 2 hasn't been that bag....almost triggers my gag reflex though.....Well tomorrow is the end of step 2 and friday is my off day before starting step 3.......should have 8 days to go, but actually have 16 in all.....more to come later I guess

Day 38

Happy Memorial Day!....so far mine's sucked. My cat was totally insane last night and would not let me sleep. Not to mention for whatever reason these step 2 pills have left and absolutely disgusting taste in my mouth and throat. Part of that was the reason I didn't sleep last night. Now I'm really irritable and don't have any tolerance for peoples' BS. Probably with the mix of being intoxicated by cigarettes and just not having enough water I feel like super crap and my skin is breaking out in pimples again. Just when you think you're done with that phase, you're not. I can't wait till I don't have to take this crap anymore, I just want to feel good and like the rest of the world isn't out to disappoint me, cuz that's exactly what life is right now. Being put on the back burned constantly... I think I might order a pizza or something, for the past several days I've maintained the same weight, and for whatever reason I gained 4 pounds. I'm planning a huge diet plan after I"m done with the detox anyway, so I might as well eat what I want right now, it seems to be the only pleasure I have right now.....well I'm going to go order something, I have a gross taste in my mouth....

Day 37

Well, today was day 3 of step 2....the pimples have kicked into high gear. The sucky part is that they are the big deep kind, but what's worse is that you can't pop them and it's almost like they just harden and stay there, not like they really heal and go away. Hopefully after time they will, but pimples in general are just obnoxious. I stayed at a friends the other day and the mix between not drinking enough water and the cigarette smoke didn't exactly make me feel very good. It's kind of funny cuz there is caffeine and a bunch of stuff in these pills but I'm been more tired than anything, wanting to sleep 12 hours at a time. My lymphnodes aren't as sore as they were. I've had cysts in my armpits for many years that were apparently inflammed sweat glands, when they get clogged they swell....anyway, I haven't had one in a couple years and having been on this detox flared it up again, that's probably been the most painful. You can tell there is a cyst in there and there is an open pore that you could essentially pop it, which is gross I know....but it's been too painful to attempt it. Anyway, still as unpleasant it is to have to take this stuff, which really kind of leaves a nasty taste in your mouth after awhile. Then again, brushing your teeth more frequently really isn't a bad thing. It's easier to carry around a bottle of bills then a bag of 3 bottles or liquid. Less inconspicuous too. The key really is to eat enough and then drink plenty afterward. I just took my dinner dose and only had a small amount of food....had the stomach pain for a few minutes, but ate an apple and I'm feeling ok...drank more water too, I think I was pretty dehydrated earlier so I need to catch up on my daily water intake. Don't you just hate feeling sick and then feeling like you're stuck at home. When really you don't want to go anywhere cuz you don't feel good.......almost makes you feel worse. The runny nose is starting to kick in a little more. I haven't really had a problem with it other than if I have my head down for awhile, but randomly one nostril will get kind of drippy. It's not really the kind of runny nose that would lead you to have to blow it. You moreso have to stick the tissue up there and absorb the moisture.....kind of annoying....this whole process is annoying, that goes without saying....The weather has been pretty nice lately and I went to the lake and just sat and enjoyed the sun and the cool breeze. It was just what I have been needing for all the anxiety I've been experiencing.....I'm going to make a point to get out and enjoy nature more....We are all vitamin D defficient anyway. It doesn't help that I've been super hormonal this week too......anyway, things are going ok, 4 more days on step 2. This up coming thursday will be the last day, friday will be my day off and saturday I'll start step 3, which is good cuz who knows how I'll react to that, and it's all complicated having to mix drops and let it sit for 3 minutes..I don't know....anyway, I hope this blog is helpful to people, I'm pretty positive about getting rid of the HSV, I really hope this gets rid of the HPV too, cuz that's mostly what's annoying, the itching and warts....so inconvenient......still have high hopes. Taking this stuff everyday seems like second nature now, it's going to be weird when I don't have to take it anymore. I think this has really taught me how to be better about taking things daily, like my vitamins once this is all over..... but one of the people who tested negative said to do as much to boost your immune system when you're done taking the detox so you can make sure it will flush it out of your system. I'm looking forward to having energy again.. well that's enough for today, I'm tired...

Day 35

Well today was day 1 of step 2. So it's 2 pills 3 times a day with/after food. So I heard some bad things about the pills that they make your stomach hurt and all that jazz. So I was determined not to let it get to me, so I got plenty of sleep last night and this morning made myself breakfast. I cut up and apple, and set out a glass of water and a glass of apple juice. I ate a cup of granola almond cereal and made 3 scrambled eggs. Ate the cereal and half of the eggs and took the first pill, drank half the water and half the juice. Finished the eggs and took the second pill, drank the rest of the juice and water, then ate an apple....Then I had that full stomach feeling from drinking so much...lol..go figure, and the stomach pain lasted about five minutes but it was very mild so I just sat down and took some deep breaths and then I was fine. I had the same really minor stomach pain after lunch and after dinner I was fine...I think making sure to eat enough and drinking plenty is definately the key....but don't let the pills sit in your mouth cuz it starts to taste like chlorine...bleh. Anyway...so far so good for day 1 of step 2....aside from other life drama things are good.....I've just had a huge financial burden thrown at me so it's going to be tight and stressful within the next few months.....and my birthday is coming up and it just seems like everyone is willing to get together but only if I plan it myself. all my friends are married with kids but me and I always get put on the back burner because everyone has a family, so now I feel stressed and unloved......I just feel really crappy. I'm tired of having a medeocre life. I started talking to this guy and I realized that I'm really pissed at guys.....I feel like I can't trust them. Just when you think you can, they give you STD's. They lie, cheat and steal to get what they want and I feel totally betrayed by people.....I'm a people person, I need to have relationships and I need to be able to care about others, and I feel like I can't and it makes me really sad. Now I'm going to be another year older and I'm going to feel the same way about the same crap....and it's just another year that my life plan is slipping away. I should be married already, or at least know who I'm going to marry.....but no, I have no one, I'm alone. And I'll continue to be alone cuz now I don't know how to have a relationship with people that doesn't involve being angry and hurt and scared.....Having STD's is like being raped..Not that I've been raped, but you have the fear of, who did this to me, why me, will I ever be able to trust again, will the physical and emotional scars ever heal......will I be able to have a normal relationship....and the secrecy of not being able to tell anyone. How did I get here? .....man, I'm on the last day of my period and it's been a roller coaster, I've been insanely irritable and today I'm really emotional......I hate being a girl

Day 33- Goodbye Step1

Ok, so it's FINALLY my last day of step 1, for real this time....What was supposed to be 25 days turned into 33. The strange part is that most of the time I barely felt the effects of it. As of yesterday though I've had this strong pain in the back of my right leg. For anyone who has HSV, this is a familiar feeling. I got it a lot more frequently before and right after I found out I was positive. Haven't really had the problem since but I think because I'm at the end of the these bottles and there are lingering minerals down there (that taste super gross and strong) it's probably really kicking in. I kind of feel all gimpy though cuz the back of my knee to my butt hurts. Oh well, the pain is worth it if it'll eventually go away... I've also had a lingering head ache, just enough for it to be annoying and make you want to take a nap...I have been pretty tired the past few days too. Not to mention it's that time of the month again and the hormones are raging.....and I really mean "RAGE-ing" I have been so irritable I'm annoying myself....anyway, only a few more days and hopefully things will calm down. I'm ready for step 2 and whatever it brings. I anticipated that I would be good for nothing throughout this detox and although I feel like I'm wasting my life away, I have hope of the over abundance of energy and overall well being when this is all over. I've been contributing to some really great hubs of people who are all doing the detox right now and it's been really encouraging. We are the next generation of a cure for this heinously obnoxious virus.....So it's only 11:30 ish and I actually haven't taken my dose today as I finished bottle A yesterday and will finish bottles B and C with my lunch and dinner, but as step 1 comes to an end, here are the symptoms I've experiences overall...

-burst of energy (first day)
-diarrhea (first day only)
-fatigue (throughout)
-bad taste in my mouth
-swollen tonsils which white spots
-102 temperature
-nausea (vomiting from high fever and nausea-only once) ibuprofin did the trick
-very minor runny nose (only when I tilt my head down)
-minor headache
-skin sensitivity
-pimples (mainly in armpits and on legs-small ones on face)
-sore lymphnodes in armpits
-leg pain
-minor outbreak
-increase in warts (HPV)
-vaginal itching
-feeling of severe dehyration

Things that helped:
-mixing dose with juice and drinking at least a full glass of water afterward
-eating an apple afterward
-ibuprofin
-getting plenty of rest


although that may seem like a lot of symptoms, it's all worth it if this works. Other than the fever, everything has seemed to be pretty minor...make sure to listen to your body and take it easy...tomorrow is my "off day" and friday I start step 2....so far so good...and still hoping for the best

Good News

So I e-mailed the resolve team and they told me that when I get to step 3 I can use it topically on the warts. This is going to save me so much money on treatments. So that solves my problem of whether to get the wartrol or have them removed, I don't have to spend any money at all...I don't really understand what they said about mixing step 3 but it's good news that however you mix it, it works...yay! Oh and for those of you who are skeptical I have been contributing to a hub if you google Resolve Herpes Hub it's called back to health minerals, illness...something....anyway, there have been several people who have finished resolve and tested NEGATIVE!!!!! Now that I'm almost finished with step one, I'm really optimistic that steps 2 and 3 will really do the trick.....Yay for good news!

Day 32

So I took my last dose of Bottle A today and it was NASTY!!!!! all of those leftover minerals at the bottle, so gross. But I am done with my morning dose, YAY!!!! now I just have my lunch and dinner doses today and tomorrow and I'll be home free.....I've been feeling kind of tired lately. Also, Aunt Flo is in town and I am PISSY!!!! It sucks because I met this guy and for whatever reason I trusted him enough to tell him about my condition and he was really respectful about it...then I was talking to him last night and he fell asleep while I was talking to him which is one of my BIGGEST PET PEEVES....I was so pissed off. Now I can't get over it........I'm so done with feeling like I'm not important. I so don't want a boyfriend right now, I can't tolerate their BS. Maybe I'm just be super hormonal or something, I don't know but every guy I see I just want to slap them. I was looking at a friend of mine's myspace...you know the one who I was seeing who said he only wanted sex? well we still hang out and stuff and last monday we had a really fun time together. Then I see these comments on his myspace about how he's done with relationships and how do you ask a girl to be friends with benefits? Is he talking about me????? or does he have like five other girls on the side? I can't stand that...the whole thing makes me want to throw up.......arg....I think I need a vacation...I need some sun and I need to just get away.....everytime I take my detox my heart starts racing....I feel the anxiety start to build...I think I'm going to explode....I think I just need to feel like I'm making progress and right now I just feel so stuck and unhappy like I can't breathe.......I only have 2 1/2 more hours of work.....I gotta get out of here......off to take me lunch dose....one more day baby, one more day

Day 31...ARG!!!

So I took my lunch dose today and then measured out how much i had left and it was more then 15ml! I know there is even more in my evening dose bottle. So I e-mailed the resolve team and asked them if I should take it an additional day even though I won't have anymore of bottle A and they e-mailed me back and told me to finish all of step 1! ARG! that means I have to take it an ADDITIONAL day which means I'll be done Wednesday, have thursday off and start the pills on Friday...This is so annoying... It's taking me ten million years to finish step 1. This better work and be worth all this postponing and adding days and bla bla bla.......I'm frustrated and I feel like I'm starting to perspire this detox cuz I can smell it and I don't know where it's coming from....super annoying!

Day 31...continued

So I just took my morning dose and I measured out how much was left over after I took it and it was exactly 15ml....damn it! lol....that means I have one more day of this stuff after today. I'll have to take larger lunch and dinner doses to finish off the other two bottles....this stuff is never ending....ARG! At least I know FOR SURE...tomorrow is my last day of step 1, wednesday is my off day and I'll start step 2 on Thursday...I sure hope this stuff works..

Day 31

Alright, well I said I was going to be finished with step 1 yesterday but I guess there was more then 15ml worth of stuff in the bottles so I'm hoping today will be the last day. I have the least amount of my morning dose, then a little more in my afternoon dose and the most in my evening dose....I guess depending on how much is left after I take my 15ml today I may just take the rest of it. Seems kind of dumb to take a really small dose tomorrow, plus since this is only the second day of taking 15ml, it probably wouldn't hurt to take a higher dose. I'm eager to move forward with step 2. I really hope it doesn't upset my stomach. I guess I'll have to my breakfast really early on wednesday and take the pills at home to see how I react. I heard the cramping is pretty bad like 3 minutes or so after you take it the first time. If I keep up on my water intake I should be ok....
I've come to grips with the fact that I can't rush this process. I really wanted to be done by my birthday in June, but that's not going to happen. Lately I've been pretty itchy down there and the warts have gotten worse, so I can tell the virus is being pushed out, but warts take forever to get rid of. I'm not really sure what the best thing to do about that is. Also what the least expensive thing to do is. Everytime I have them removed I get billed like $70 that my insurance doesn't cover. I was thinking of getting some wartrol since it's all natural but they say you have to use it until they are gone and I can only afford a months worth at this point. So do I pay the $20 copay and be billed the $70 to have them removed or pay $50 for the wartrol and see how well that works....I guess being billed isn't the worst thing in the world. I think I'll try the wartrol for the external symptoms and hopefully the detox will handle everything internally. Otherwise I've been doing good, still tired at times, I haven't really gotten much accomplished lately. According to another hub I contribute to, there was a lady who did resolve and was cured. She said to make sure to listen to your body. Don't over do it and when your body says you are tired, sleep......so I guess I can justify my laziness for trying to take care of my body and what it's going through right now... I'm just ready to be done with step 1.....well keep your fingers crossed that I can get it done today....if so, tomorrow will be my off day and I will let you know how step 2 goes come wednesday.

Day 28

So the time is just flying by now......so things fell through with the reality tv show...I should be on a plane to LA if I was going to be on it....guess the HSV and HPV weren't ok with them. I figured as much. It's all good though, I think I would have been shocked if they said it was ok. Hollywood isn't so understanding about those things...but I wouldn't have been done with my detox by then anyway.....So keep a look out this summer for a show called "More to Love" and you can think of me and say "she didn't get on the show cuz those lame people don't accept the misfortune of std's" but I assure you, however heavy the people on that show are, I'm only a size 10 so don't think I'm super huge or anything when the show airs, cuz there may be some plus size people on there....Anyway...I'm just eager to finish this detox. I should be done with step 1 on sunday. Today is friday and I'm still on 13ml. Tomorrow is my last day of 13 and then I'll take 15 on sunday which will empty the bottles. Yay!. Then monday is my day off and Tuesday I'll start step 2. Since the fevers been gone it's been smooth sailing. My heart rate seems to increase right after I take the dose which leaves me feeling winded and almost like I have heart burn. I haven't really had any runny nose though and they said that was a big symptom. My nose will run if I put my head down, but on a normal bases I don't really have to wipe it at all. I wonder if step 2 will bring that on. Also, most of the pimples have gone away, my face is still a little bumpy but its' more in texture than you can tell I have pimples. I still get a few in my hairline and stuff but my legs have pretty much cleared up.

I was pretty itchy down there this morning when I woke up which I hope is a good sign. Since I haven't had any symptoms recently I'm wondering if the whole fever could have been avoided had I not tried to diet while I was taking it. I think food and plenty of water really are the key. Anyway....things are good, life is good and it's friday and sunny, so I really can't complain. Hope everyone is doing well. I'll let you know how step 2 goes......keep your fingers crossed

Day 26

Well it's day 26 and it should be my off day. Step 1 was only supposed to take 25 days and then you get an off day and I should be onto step 2 tomorrow but the resolve team told me to finish step 1. Since I had the fever I had to take low doses for a few days. I'm back up to 13ml, it's day 2 and I'm feeling fine. The fever is gone, I'm sleeping good, my back pain is gone....things are looking up. Still having pimples here and there and a pain in my arms. I think it's swollen lymphnodes which the resolve team said is normal. Breast cancer runs in my family and although I'm young, I'm praying that this pain is just from the detox. I have found some lumps but I think they are the swollen lymphnodes because they hurt when I touch them. It kind of comes and goes...so we will see, if when i'm done with this, it doesn't go away I'll go get an ultra sound. I've had sore lymphnodes before, it was actually from tanning, weird huh...Anyway, i'm aware of it....My breathing is better, I feel like I can take deeper breaths but it seems like right after I take my dose my heart starts racing.... On a separate note, I keep getting calls from this reality dating show and they want me to be on it. They might want me to fly to LA on friday for a few days to be interviewed. I told them straight out I had HPV and HSV1 and that if that disqualifies me, they need to tell me now before I just leave work for the day to go to LA. Plus taping starts in like a week and a half and that's REALLY fast. not to mention I don't get paid while I'm there, so how will I pay my rent? I've just been having these internal battles with myself on what the right thing to do is. Not to mention I'll still be on the detox the entire time. With having had the fever, the next 2 steps could be a breeze or could kick my butt even more, that's no fun....but I also don't want to go on this show and be portrayed in a negative light. I guess I still haven't decided what I want to do. I'm still waiting on the call saying whether the STD's are ok or not. If they say no I think I might be relieved...if they say yes, I think I'll be shocked out of my mind. I may go to LA to check it out and depending on how I feel when I get there will determine what I do next....either way I'm just glad to not be feeling sick...I hope all goes well and I can clear this thing from my system. The HPV is the real kicker. I still have warts and was debating on whether I should go in to get them removed or wait till next month and get the wartrol. If I go to LA I won't have the money, I would just have to get them removed...I don't know, I feel stressed and that's not good. I haven't gotten a ton of sleep either and that can't be good. Anyway....things are going well, finally over what I feel to be the hump.. for now anyway....well I'll write more later...hope everyone is doing well and feeling encouraged about this possible cure.....Happy Hump Day!!!! ;)

Heartbroken and Alone

So for whatever reason I've been missing me EX BAD! I don't know why, it's been almost 2 years since we broke up, but I never stopped loving him. I do want the best for him but part of me wants the best for him with Me. The only thing is I don't know if he will ever know how to be what I need, which in the end will just make me unhappy. In the mean time I keep having all these dreams about him, and my heart just aches to hold him in my arms....He doesn't know about all this stuff I've been going through, I haven't even seen or talked to him in months. So Idon't know why all of a sudden now I just wished I had his loving support. I have no one. I'm all alone, and although I have friends to support me, it just doesn't seem like enough. Ugh! I haven't cried or anything about this but I sure feel like I'm on the brink.....I've been doing better health wise, today is day 2 of being back up to 10ml. Tomorrow I'm going to move to 13. Technically it's day 24 and if I was on track then tomorrow would have been my last day of step 1....but noooo I had to get that stupid fever and ruin everything....I just need to feel loved right now....if I knew some one loved me for me I think I would be so much better. I sent in a video for that dating show and I think it made me realize that I'm not where I want to be weight wise....I mean that camera adds ten pounds but I don't need ten more, I need 25 less....and I won't be able to pursue that for awhile....These questions I had to answer for the audition were like "has your weight ever affected a relationship?" "do you feel your weight has kept you from having relationship opportunities?" I never thought it did, but maybe it might. Maybe these guys who like me for 2 weeks then move on are thinking I'm not the arm candy they are looking for. It's all about being comfortable in your own skin and I just don't feel like I'm there.....I have had SOOO many stresses in the last six months...things have been pretty good, I'm just over all this. I want to live a normal life again....=(

Day 23

Today was pretty good. It was the first day I upped my dose to 10ml.....something I have found that helps with my fever is that if I go to bed with my hair wet, I wake up with a normal temperature, I guess it helps to keep the heat down in my head....strange, but it works... I did fight a little bit of a temperature today but that's to be expected with me upping my dose. I'm going to do another day of 10ml and then go up to 13ml.....I'm hoping it won't be too bad. I'm finally down to a little less than half a bottle of each step. It feels good actually being able to see it get less and less, I feel like I've been taking this forever...It's been three weeks and two days since I started this....my outbreak I had cleared up but my warts are definately flaring up. I was going to buy some wartrol which is like $50 but my cable bill was like $100 which took that money away. I have a perscription for aldara but that stuff is like $130 after insurance, it's supposed to work from the inside out but i never really felt like it did anything. Since I'm not supposed to take suppressants, I figured a natural way would be better. The warts never really bothered me while they were small, but these ones are like a big one here a big one there. They are kind of like skin tags so they aren't that bad, I just don't like them there. I could go to my OB/GYN and have them removed but that's still $20 I don't have right now..... there just isn't enough money to go around....and I need to buy to contacts and stuff on my next check.....but I bought a new comforter set kind of as a present to myself....so I guess I'll have that extra money at the end of the month and I can buy it then. It sucks being broke all the time. The most annoying part of having all this crap I think is how much money I have waisted on trying to get healthy again. Anyway, today has been pretty good.....I took a nap today cuz I had a big lunch and went into a food coma....lol.....I've been able to maintain a normal temperature so I think it will be smooth sailing through the end of step 1......step 2 might me another story but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I also got a call yesterday from these people who are doing a new reality show. From the same producers as the bachelor and they are doing a new show called "More to Love" it's basically the bachelor but for average people, I guess size 10 and up......they got my info from the bachelor and since I'm a curvy girl they wanted me to submit a tape.....So I put a little something together but I don't know if that's good to represent the curvy women in this world who deserve to find love or if it's tell everyone, hey, I'm too fat to be on the bachelor.....everyone says I should do it so we will see what happens.....my biggest hesistation of course is having these viruses, I don't think that kind of thing goes over very well, and of course am hoping that this detox works and then I won't have to worry about it....but obviously step one is still trying to burn the virus out of my system with this fever....but I've learned to live with it.....I still have pimples and stuff but it's starting to heal which is encouraging. Symptoms I've had today.....

slight fever
fatigue
pimples
short of breath
increased heart rate

nothing too severe, i'm kind of used to it all by now....so things are looking up.....I hope at least...=) well I'm off to bed, a good nights sleep is pretty important...oh also, this stuff really seems to dehydrate you, I think I drank 8 glasses of water at work alone on firday just because I was thirsty. It's good that it's flushing out my system though, and I have had more BM's which is good too....I stopped worrying about what I was eating and more of the fact that I need to eat enough before I take this stuff.... It will be a miracle when this is all over and done with.....well keep your fingers crossed...I'm doing well today, hopefully the days to come will be just as promising....

Day 21

Well, it's been a trying couple of days.....I have been in constant contact with the resolve team and they have reassured me that all my symptoms are normal....I sure don't feel normal....The other day my heart rate got pretty fast and now I don't feel like I have my full lung compacity...They said that if my lungs are detoxing then they might feel different. I'm afraid they are going to fill up with fluid and I'll drown....
I'm finally sleeping through the night, sometimes I still wake up completely soaked and have to change my clothes. This morning my temperature was normal when I woke up.....usually if I start to get the chills I know the fever is coming on. So far I've take 4 ibuprofin for the fever...I don't think it's ever going to go away but I think I can control it at least long enough to go to work and stuff. I'm so glad I didn't start this detox sooner, I would have missed out on so much. If you do this detox, plan to do nothing for the whole 48 days cuz it kicks your butt. Yesterday I got home about 4 and I laid down around 5:30 or so and I woke up at 8, then I fell back asleep and woke up at 10:30 and then got up, took a shower and went back to bed and slept till 5. Even now I still feel tired. I upped my dose to 7ml today, I probably drank at least 7 glasses of water while I was at work today, because I was thirsty....This stuff definately dehydrates you. I haven't heard good things about step 2, that it gives you bad stomach pain. The resolve team told me to make sure to eat and then drink lots of water afterward. I read on another blog that taking beano a half hour before you eat helps and then taking 1 pill during your meal and 1 after.....i'm hoping I will be able to overcome those symptoms....I feel like I have been on this detox for an eternity......Technically I should almost be halfway through expcept that I have to extend step 1....but come this weekend I'll be back on track. I still have half bottles of all three steps, it's not very encouraging when you feel like you're drinking the stuff all the time and it looks like it's at the same level regardless.
I have pimples everywhere....the ones in my armpits and inner thighs are going away but now I have some pimples on my scalp, like in my hair, and I have this massave one on my chin, you know the kind you can't pop, it's super annoying..nothing worse when you look in the mirror and you already feel gross but you look it too. I have developed what looks like a rash on my legs, it's kind of like pimple size dots but it's just red. It doesn't itch or anything, it's almost like heat marks, it's kind of strange, I hope it doesn't develop anywhere else. What's even weirder is that on the fleshy part on my palm just below my thumb there is a red bump about the size of a dime. It's almost like it's infected...it hurts when I press on it, I would have thought it was a spider bite but I have on on my butt as welll...attractive, I know. The resolve team said it could be bacteria that is trapped under the skin that became inflamed or something....I just hope it goes away when this is all over. I can't wait to start feeling better.......
On a separate note, I've been missing my ex BAD.....we broke up almost 2 years ago and although a day doesn't go by that I don't think of him, lately I've just wanted to be in his arms and feel the way I once felt, safe and secure. Instead I feel the way I did when I moved into my apartment. Alone and depressed. Part of me wants company really bad, but I feel like I look disgusting and don't want anyone to see me. I sure hope this works cuz I want to start a new life and finally be happy.....I feel so alone. =( Bottoms up to day 21

Day 18

Well, a lot has happened recently....I have been in constant contact with the resolve team about this fever of mine....They told me to lower my dose until the fever is gone and they said it shouldn't come back. When I told them I had HPV too they said that's probably why I was having the flu like symptoms. I went down to 7ml yesterday and actually slept through the night but right before my alarm went off I had the worse nightmare EVER....and not that the dream was that scary but I was so scared in it. I woke up and my shirt was completely soaked in sweat and so were my sheets, talk about uncomfortable. I had the worst time getting going this morning, but surprisingly had an ok day. When I got home I took ibuprofin for some head pain and my temperature has been normal every since. I did however lower my dose down to 4ml today and I think that really helped. The resolve teal says I can do a day increase at a time and get back on track with my regular doses. They did say not to take any suppressants as it slows down the process, which was interesting because on the website it says that you can take all normal medications as it doesn't interfere. Which sucks since I am also having an outbreak (only my second one ever) and this one is detox enduced and is actually very mild. I already took 2 days worth of suppressant too, wish I knew that sooner. They also said that even though they don't want you taking added vitamin C, it's ok to eat foods that naturally have vitamin C...I've been craving cucumbers and I guess it's ok to eat them, for some reason that just makes food taste better. Everything was so bland for awhile. I'm just hoping that I don't have another nightmare tonight and continue progressing through step one. I have a little more then half a bottle of each step still, 4ml really is not a lot. Just remember that if you do this, 2 things to remember, make sure to eat plenty before you take your doses, and 2, it might be better to do it during the winter cuz you get pimples like crazy and I'm not talking about your face. I have them on my legs and under my arms, like in my armpits of all places. So no tank tops or shorts for awhile. So the symptoms I've experienced so far:

-Sensitive Scalp
-nausea
-fever
-vomiting due to high fever
-nightmares
-fatigue
-sore muscles
-pimples

I haven't really experienced the runny nose or diahrea that people have said they've experienced, but it's only day 18 and I haven't been up past 10ml yet. There's finally starting to be a light at the end of this tunnel. If this works, all these symptoms would have been worth it...so much better than being poked in the vagina with a needle.......read my pre-detox entries if you haven't read that story.......OUCH! ......anyway, I'm off to bed, I'm hoping for the best sleep I've had in days.....wish me luck

Day 15 & 16

Ok, so today is day 16 and I still have a fever. Yesterday I was supposed to sing at a church function. Don't judge me for being a church girl and having HSV and HPV, I had a bad year...Anyway, I committed to doing it and thankfully I was able to keep my temperature normal long enough to go sing and get some things done. That was a relief, I was hoping this would be a new leaf for me and that the fever would go away. Well late last night I was still up and 102 degrees struck again. I can't function when my temperature is that high. Finally i got it under control and went to bed. Of course I woke up with a pretty high temp too. Took my mourning ibuprofin and went back to sleep. I think the worst and most gross part about having a fever is that when you sweat it out your clothes and sheets are all wet. Bleh.....so I figured if I didn't get out of bed my temperature would be all over the board, so I got up and took a warm shower and it felt.....ssooooooo goooooodddd....aaaahhhhh. Just what I needed. It's a little late in the afternoon and I've only taken 1 dose so far which I shoud have taken 2 by now but my schedule is all screwed up. I really hope I can go to work tomorrow, as much I don't want to and would rather stay home and get rid of this temperature I have a feeling it's not leaving anytime soon. Even on a lowered dose, 7ml still brings the fever. That one day I screwed up my dose and ended up throwing it up I actually felt so much better and then I was able to maintain the normal temp. But I can't stop it cuz I'm technically only supposed to have 9 days left of step 1, but the resolve team told me to continue it as normal until it was gone. I still have a little more then half a bottle of A, B, and a little more of C since I lowered my dose. I have been reading other people's blogs and haven't really read anything about people having temperatures but a to of people don't have nasty symptoms until step 2 and 3. So I wonder since I'm having these symptoms now, the resolve team said I shouldn't have many problems after this. Somehow I don't think that's true. But I'm so sick of drinking this stuff I would much rather take pills. My skin has broken out a little bit more and my scalp is pretty sensitive. My tonsils are still swollen but are getting better and my throat only really hurts when my temp is high. Drinking plenty of water is really important. I don't think you could avoid it if you wanted too, your tongue gets so dry you feel like you're in the desert, licking the sand. It's kind of sad when you have your essential items you have to take with you wherever you go, your thermometer, your detox, your ibuprofin and your water.....I have been carrying my thermometer in my purse just in case I start to feel bad I check to see if it's time for more ibuprofin. That seems to be the only thing that really brings my fever down. I should look into something stronger as I'm only allowed to take 6 within 24hours and I took more then that yesterday. well I just took my temp again and it's been a consistent 100.6 for the past 2 hours.....oh well, I guess I'll just monitor is closely. well I'm going to relax, this is more energy then I've had in awhile....I'll keep you updated....

Day 14

Well it's only noon but I didn't write last night cuz I was in so much pain. I've had a 102 fever since I've been on phase 3 of step 1. My chiropractor messed up my back so it's been hurting non stop. The resolve team said it's totally normal and to continue this dose amount or drop down to my previous dose, so I only took 7ml today once I felt good enough to eat something.....my skin has been really sensitive. I got a massage yesterday and I think the increase in blood flow made it worse....my tonsils have been swollen too and I noticed today there are a lot of white spots on them. Which after having read online about all that it says a bacterial and viral infection can't live in high temperatures which is why the detox is causing me to have a fever, and the white spots could be from an infection too, so since this is supposed to be clearing out my system I guess it's presenting itself in odd ways, I haven't had an outbreak or anything. I don't think I have strep throat or anything like that, but since I've been swollowing the minerals I think it's irritating my tonsils. I have been e-mailing the resolve team about it and I guess we will see what they say. This detox is not fun, I think I liked it better when I had no symptoms. I couldn't go to work today cuz I didn't even get comfortable till about 5:30 this morning...It's pretty miserable. I have been reading other blogs and stuff and they say step 2 causes stomach pain. Then some people have said step 3 is really nasty and some say it's a breeze...I'm so over all of this, but it will be worth it if it really works. All my friends think I'm nuts for doing this, but when you get this virus and have to spend $2000 plus on medical treatments and appointments, you'll do whatever it takes to me normal again...pray this doesn't kill me first though.....bleh......

Day 12

MISERABLE MISERABLE MISERABLE MISERABLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know what happened all of a sudden but either day 12 just kicked my butt or I have the swine flu. My whole body hurts, top to body, my tonsils are swolen almost like the minerals are irritating them. My boobs hurt, my back hurts, I can't get comfortable.....clothes hurt to touch my skin and I've starting breaking out on my back now.... I can't miss work, I hope I'm feeling better by tomorrow cuz everything hurts, I swear I'm dying......but i'm going to continue to drink a lot of water and get lots of sleep...oh did I mention I have the chills? I can't get warm at all, only for a split second.....if I wasn't on this detox I swear that I had swine flu......I read up on some other blogs and most people didn't have bad symptoms till step 2 and 3, well I hope this is a good sign that I feel miserable now, maybe it won't be so bad later. Even my wrist hurts to type.....I need a massage badly!!!!!!! uuuugggggghhhhhhh...=( *tear* ok well I'm going to try and get comfortable. Pray this is working, pray it's working now cuz I can't do this for another 36 days and I'm supposed to sing tomorrow, saturday and sunday and my throat feels like crap......grrrr....well, there goes day 12 and it SUCKED!!!!!!

Day 11

Well today was day 1 of phase 3 of step 1.....did you get all that? lol...so I upped my dose to 10ml and I saw some changes...First off I started feeling a little bit nautious, not much but enough to not feel great...Also I have these random bumps on my right arm from my elbow up, not a ton, maybe 7 or so. They aren't really pimples just like little blisters almost, they don't hurt or anything, it's just kind of odd. I have gotten more pimples though, mainly in areas where I shave like my arm pits and bikini line...Also, all of a sudden today I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack and got extremely irritable. I'm not close to having my period so I don't think it was that. I did start my birth control again so maybe it was just the hormones, but none the less it was strange. Also, last but not least, can you say "Dragon Breath"? The minerals are like embedding in my taste buds cuz I can tell my breath does not smell good, even brushing my teeth, it's just gross. I sure hope it's just be cuz the last thing I want is to repel people....I don't know if this one if from the detox or if it's just me but I have been super horny the past few days. Granted it's been about 5 1/2 months since I've gotten any, which is the longest I've gone since I lost my virginity, but man is it annoying. I'm terrified to have sex. Even if this detox works, which I pray to God it does, I think I would be scared out of my mind that some one would re-infect me. People in this world have no clue what's going on in their bodies, it's like you have to treat everyone as if they have it. One day at a time though, that's still 36 more days of detox plus 90 days waiting period....that means if this works, I'll have to wait till septemberish to really know. That doesn't seem too bad, that's about the same time my stupid "pre- exsisting conditions" thing on my insurance goes away too, that would just be a great month if I didn't have to go through that hassel and I was cured. At least if anything else came up I would have to pay out of pocket, cuz needless the say I've met my deductable too. Anyway, I think 10 ml is finally starting to effect my body, I really don't want to feel like crap but it's better then feeling fine and still being positive. Ok well I'm off to bed...tomorrow is day 12 and so far so good.

Day 10

So I haven't written in a few days cuz there hasn't been much going on. I've been working out and stuff and I don't know if it's just that or the detox but I've definately had sore muscles...I was kind of worrying a little cuz I haven't had many side effects, which I guess could be good if I don't have much of the virus in my system or could mean it's doing nothing, who knows....My throat is starting to hurt from having to swallow the minerals, bleh. I ran out of juice and I'm too broke to go buy more. So today was the last day of phase 2. Tomorrow I start phase 3 of step 1, so I up my dose from 7ml to 10ml. The only things I have noticed is that the warts are growing more....So I guess that's kind of good, I read good reviews on Wartrol, which is an all natural remedy for the physical side effects of HPV. So I'm going to try that this week. I have a prescription still for aldara but it's like $120 so I 'm not gonna go there unless I really have to...but hopefully as the virus leaves my system the warts will heal on their own. So anyway, day 10 is over and things are still good. I heard that after about a week and a half is when things start to get kind of nasty and I almost hope they do, at least I would know it's working....well I'll let you know if there are new side effects with phase 3.....10 days down, 38 more to go...

Day 5

Well I just finished day 5. Tomorrow I start the second phase of step 1. I have to up my dose from 4ml to 7ml, which seems like a lot, especially if you have to drink it.....I've been gassy today, which is annoying....but my skin is starting to break out, still not too bad.....I e-mailed resolve herpes and asked them about the juice I have been drinking, I didn't think it was a big deal but the person said I should stick to the juices they mention, there were four of them, I think pineapple, pomegranite......and I don't remember the other two off the top of my head....so now I have to go find that, but I'm pretty much out of apple juice anyway....I read somewhere the apple juice was fine, but oh well. I looked on the website and they changed the system from 3 steps to 2, apparently step 2 is like step 1 but in capsile form, so now it's just a longer time of taking the liquid and then step 3....she said it works the same though. I also asked if it mattered when I took it, like if I had to do it the same time everyday and she said no. I just have to make sure to take it 3 times a day. I've also been kind of itchy, down there....which is pretty normal. I'll probably have an OB at some point during this process. I heard the symptoms get a lot worse around the second week, so it's really too soon to tell how my body will react it it...but I'm still feeling pretty good. I have been waking up a lot at night the past two nights, it might be because I've been sleeping with my blinds open.....Do you ever find that if you change your routine your body reacts different? This morning I woke up and thought it was time for work and it was 2 am....strange....but it's still been easy to remember to take the detox. I just hope this works the first time around and I won't have to do an extention...sometimes people have to take certain steps longer or repeat them. I'm hoping I'll do well with just doing it once, I haven't had HSV and HPV that long so Im hoping it will leave my system easier....well I'll let you know how phase 2 goes.....